Tonight’s Adult Education Classes

This week’s cartoon is mostly foolish nonsense. “Deconstructing the Teen Sex Comedy” and my displeasure with elderlies trying to use the grocery self-checkout have been ideas I’ve been trying to work into a comic strip for almost a year. I finally had to exorcise these demons to make room for more stupid ideas and the learning annex premise seemed good enough.

All of the other panels were hastily thrown together. I learned a valuable life lesson while illustrating the milk crate gag, and that is to never put myself in a situation where I have to draw a milk crate again. They are awful. I started out wanting to draw the wine bottles nicely stacked in the crate, but gave up and went with instruction manual instead. That Free Art Test is bullshit. Send me a drawing of a milk crate and I will be able to tell if you have the goods.

Dittoheads are always funny. If you don’t believe me, listen to The O’Franken Factor and wait for Mark Luther to call. Yesterday he made an argument that opposing Bush’s tax cut, but filing taxes anyway was the same as being opposed to child porn, but buying it if it were legal. Comedy gold!

Just a few posts down, I lambast Family Guy for using obscure eighties references as punchlines, knowing I stuck a Blind Fury reference into this week’s cartoon. I am a hypocrite. You can punch me in the stomach.

Alton Brown is the coolest person on TV, possibly in the entire world. The joke is about jackasses like myself who think they know how to cook because they remember a few things he said. I can go on and on about how you’re supposed to sear your meat, then heat it. Otherwise it’ll dry out and be gross. But I won’t. Watch his show!

The current trend of Law & Order actors shilling for investment companies illustrates how stupid advertising firms think the public is. Here is what they think will happen in our heads: “Jack McCoy and Adam Schiff sure are smart district attorneys and win a lot of their cases. I bet their economic advice is rock solid!”

“Are there sandwiches in heaven?” is the kind of stupid question that would make my day if I actually overheard someone asking it. It’s kind of tiny in this version, but I really like the idea of religious wackos trying to classify sandwiches based on good and evil. For the record, the Reuben is my favorite sandwich. I made it evil because I am a rebel.