What’s New On Broadway


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First off, the Rosie O’Donnell line isn’t a lame gay joke. I am secure enough in my heterosexuality to tell you it’s a reference to her failed production, Taboo, which was either about or starring Boy George. I sincerely hope she’ll have more success as a retard.

This is probably too similar to the Pilot Season Preview cartoon I did just a few weeks ago. Oh well. I am not made out of infinitely funny triangles as Plato would have you believe.

Most of these are just premise gags that would probably work as MadTV or SNL sketches. Frankenstein in a corny Andrew Lloyd Weberesque musical. Combining CSI and Chicago. Combination premises are the bread and butter of mass produced comedy.

I’d like to point out here that CSI, in all of its incarnations, sucks balls. If TV forensic dramas could be equated with colas, CSI would be Pepsi to Law & Order’s Coke. It’s all flashy and way too sugary. And they have ideas that are as bad as Crystal Pepsi.

“Freshmaker Players?” Eh. I plead the fifth.

“Teens at War” is my attempt to make a funny version of Love Letters. I referenced the Lindsay Lohan/Hillary Duff feud to redeem my street cred with the kids. All this “Bush bashing boo-hooing” has left them feeling alienated. Fucking selfish kids.

“The Flim Flam Man” uses The Music Man to describe no one’s favorite Jordanian fugitive, Ahmad Chalabi. Keep in mind, I don’t think he tricked the geniuses at the Office of Special Plans into invading Iraq. They were going to anyway. He just kept feeding them what they wanted to hear and got a shitload of money in the process, like a one man Halliburton.

From the bajillion commercials on Air America, I know Tim Robbins’ Embedded has an act that takes place in the Office of Special Plans, the real name our civilian military leader dumbshits gave to their super-duper club. I haven’t seen the play, but I made a guess that his version wasn’t done in the ultra-corny style of the high school drama club staple. If it is, then sue me.

“The Navel Monologues” is my favorite in this week’s cartoon. I could easily make an entire cartoon mocking my self-reflexive peers. I think I could even turn it into a decent sketch. It’s not a jab at “The Vagina Monologues,” I’ve never seen it. It just uses the premise to describe what most creative efforts by twenty-somethings end up being anyway: A bunch of self-important garbage.

I’m not innocent either. In its earlier incarnations, this cartoon was all about me, until I realized I am lame. It’s much better to make the cartoon all about things I don’t like.

It’s been two weeks without a heavy-handed preachy political cartoon. I will remedy this immediately. I’ll be back after the weekend.

One thought on “What’s New On Broadway”

  1. Heterosexuality proved! Nothing depicted in the cartoons to make you a gay :). Bad Pepsi! you broke the heart of mmillions. But CSI, they think the audience is dumb. The Flim Flam Man! I think taken from Dilbert, who save is ass from the Big Bosses licking the boots. The Naval Monologue steels the show!You too end up with the same blurt, “I am lame shit”.

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