Presidential Debates


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This is a very rare single panel BFW comic, and the only one with less than ten words. It wasn’t supposed to turn out that way. I wrote an entire BFW-sized bit, but at the last minute I discovered that it had already been done.

I had a mock debate scorecard for people to use for the last two debates that looked like a bowling sheet. I filled in the scores for the first debate. There were various symbols and wacky terms for typical debate shenanigans, like a 7-10 split, a move that seamlessly combines two disparate talking points, or stroking the masses, personalizing a problem by calling out some random citizen by name.

It was all written and I was feeling pretty good about myself. I left the church tower where I ring the bell and went into the village to see Shaun of the Dead, a very good zombie comedy that mysteriously stinks for 15 minutes right near the end. I got back and finished reading America: The Book, and right there at the end of the book in the special election section was a score the debates gag. They used baseball scoring, but pretty much covered all the punchlines I tried to make.

Rather than be a douchebag, I realized I had been beat. It was too late for me to come up with anything else, and I already committed to the image of Bush and Kerry bowling together. So what you see is the best tasting lemonade I could make from the lemons of derivative hackiness.

I know it’s a cliche, but The Big Lebowski is my favorite movie. I decided to fill the empty space created by my unoriginality with Walter and the Dude. Don’t try and figure out who’s on whose team, although it would make sense for Walter to have some connection with Kerry as they both fought Charlie in the black pajamas.

As for the debates themselves, I have nothing to add. I agree with the consensus that Kerry proved to everyone that he is not nearly as retarded as Bush. I doubt anything will change with the next two, but I won’t say anything until they’re over. I could surmise that Kerry will kick ass tonight, but he could end up crapping himself and shaking a turd out of his pant leg while walking around in the town hall format. It’s just as likely as Bush coming up with a reasoned argument that can be backed up with facts.