Google ads were serving up links to places selling World Series tickets and out of curiosity, I checked them out. To no one’s surprise, even the crappiest individual seats are going for upwards of $1,500. I was also curious to see what the tickets were going for in the internet’s dark alley of despair and vice, Craigslist’s casual encounters page.
Here’s what I found. If you still have faith in humanity, you might want to skip these links.
- You’re not supposed to fuck a stranger in the ass, but apparently letting him do it to you is your ticket to America’s pastime.
- For a sex in exchange for tickets post, this one is pretty straightforward.
- This guy wants tickets, and he’s trying to parlay his vague similarity to everyone’s favorite unfrozen caveman centerfielder into some hot he-whore action.
- Here’s one from what appears to be a control freak asshole.
- Yawn. I suppose the demand for tickets is so great that some of these people don’t even feel the need to try to be interesting.
- The classiest one I’ve seen so far, but the bar is so incredibly low.
- Finally, a request for a threesome.
- A guy looking for “a preferably attractive woman”. This looks like it could be the ugly Red Sox fan’s only hope.
- He is running an auction for the tickets, where each person bids on the level of dignity they’re willing to give up.
- This smells like a joke, but you never know.
- I like this one because it manages to be condescending to the potential harlots, telling them to dress nicely to the game so they don’t stick out like the filthy trollops they are.
- This is the best for its sheer depravity.
- Here are some others that I have no pithy comments for.
In case I gave any of you dirty boys and girls any ideas, it’s probably safe to assume that most of these people don’t even have tickets. Also, fucking strangers for baseball tickets is very likely to get you banned from the Baseball Hall of Fame, should you ever come up for consideration.