A Christmas Lie

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I came across this shameless bag of re-packaged holiday candy. This is obviously a bag of candy corn, my favorite Halloween-specific candy, except it’s marketed as “Snowman Noses.”

I understand that candy companies might occasionally make too much candy corn and be stuck with it for a year. But no one is falling for this. They should just suck it up and dump it in the dollar stores.

I highly doubt that anyone has ever seen a snowman tiny enough to have candy corn for a nose. If I ever did, I would know that it was built by a pussy.

For the sake of journalism, I ate the entire bag. It tasted exactly like candy corn, and nothing like Pepsi spice. Thankfully.