The Carbon-14 Club

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This cartoon was finished several hours before the levee broke. Pat Robertson’s stupid comments and the demise of science don’t seem very important now. Donate, offer a bed, give some food, and help some animals. Here’s the commentary I wrote earlier in the week before things went to shit:

I think a science program conducted as if it were a televangelism show is an excellent premise, but I didn’t have enough time to execute it properly. As a result, the four panels in the middle are just a lengthy setup for a lame punchline about Pat Robertson.

If you didn’t know, Robertson, the fundamentalist douchebag who helms the 700 Club, called for the assassination of Hugo Chavez, the democratically elected president of Venezuela. After several denials, and then being hilariously presented with video of himself making the statement he claimed he never made, Robertson apologized. What an asshole.

With two-thirds of this dumbass nation supporting creationism being taught in schools and one in five not believing in a heliocentric solar system, this is probably what’s in store for science. As the religious crap moves into the mainstream and lower on the dial, real science will be pushed out to the fringes, beyond the golf channel and that Portuguese one.

Televangelists are always going on about the end of times. Because no legitimate scientist believes in the Biblical Apocalypse, I figured the only equivalent for a reasonable person would be the inevitable demise of our sun and the inner planets.

I believe I appeased the nerd patrol by being accurate in my description of the life cycle of the sun. Of course, some of the helium in the sun is already being converted into heavier elements, and those elements are also being consumed, but on the macro level, the sun is getting fat and happy largely on hydrogen. And if I did screw something up, I hope the reference to “Why Does the Sun Shine?” the children’s song made famous (at least in nerd circles) by They Might Be Giants’ kickass cover eased their little nerd hearts.

I just don’t understand the religious war against science. I’m an atheist, but even I know that no fact can refute someone’s religion. If someone believes a simple fact can destroy their entire faith, it wasn’t very strong to begin with. Take me for example. Despite all the evidence to the contrary: photographs, mirrors, videos of me dancing, emails from people who think I suck, I still believe I’m hot shit, and nothing can take that away from me.