Copa Mundial

I’d rather sit in the Yankees bleachers wearing a pink Red Sox hat than make some hacky joke about soccer being boring; I don’t think it is. It’s as fun as ultimate frisbee to play, and has the added bonus of being hippie free. Every four years, I try to give watching soccer a chance, but there’s one aspect of the game that makes it completely unwatchable for me: the acting.

I believe any sport where fouls are an integral part of the game invites athletes to engage in some pretty shitty acting. Watching players fake cry and wince in an attempt to get a free kick is as uncomfortable as watching a toddler have a tantrum at the grocery store. This also applies to free throws in basketball, or as the game was called when it was invented in Springfield, MA, “back and forth dance party.”

Acting and sports don’t mix. That’s why there was very little overlap between the football team and the Drama Club.

If there’s any acting in baseball, it’s when the rest of the Yankees try to pretend A-Rod isn’t a douchebag.

13 thoughts on “Copa Mundial”

  1. Probably hard for guys like Jeter to notice, since he’s an even bigger douchebag.

    I do enjoy a little acting in baseball, but that’s probably because Lou Piniella was my team’s manager for so many years…

  2. I don’t think Lou was acting. He really is insane.

    I’m not one to defend Jeter, but he’s not an asshole. A-Rod however, is a giant, purple-lipped anus, who can’t do anything in the clutch. I’m surprised someone from Seattle would think otherwise.

  3. Oh, he’s a money-whore, no doubt. But he’s also a helluva player, I gotta give him that. Jeter’s just overrated all around… every time an announcer gushes and swoons over him when he makes a routine play I just want to vomit.

  4. You Seattleites are too goddamned nice! Your polite traffic jams are one thing, but praising A-rod after he abandoned the Mariners is a behavior as foreign to me as those African lip plates.

    I’ve been avoiding sports media for a while now, but I think Yankee coverage in general has become less fawning recently, thanks in large part to that 6 year drought.

    I’m going to be banned from Boston for saying this, but I think Jeter actually comes off as a decent human being. Him and Posada are the exceptions to that goon squad of hired hands.

    Sorry to bore everyone half to death with even more baseball talk. Let’s hope Gammons recovers poste haste. Otherwise a douche like Shaughnessy might fill the void.

  5. Through age 31,
    Jeter: 1159-1936-763-.314
    Rose: 992-1922-586-.309
    Sandberg: 976-1753-749-.288
    Gwynn: 765-1699-550-.328

    I think having a freak like Ichiro’s skewed your perception. Jeter’s been one of the leagues better all-around players and captain for the best team for a decade now. He’ll never be a player that redefines how baseball’s played or managed, but he’s a first ballot HOF’er and you must accept that. Jeter will forever be cheered for anything good he does, and A-rod will be booed for hitting .280, just like he is now. The problem with A-rod is that he’s the most unproductive out in baseball, and doesn’t do enough good things to cheer about. None out w/runner on 2nd, NY’s will standing-O a nubber to the first baseman. A flyball onto the warning track into left center gets death threats addressed to your children. Plus he has a lousy personality.

    Is that a hint Brian? Do you want me to buy you a little pink Red Sox Hat? We’d probably get a bunch of free food (thrown at us.)

  6. Not much to quibble with there Craig, but “the best team for a decade”? You’re referring to the nineties I hope.

    No need to buy me a pink sox hat. As fun as it sounds, I would prefer not to have the shit kicked out of me by a bunch of Jersey goombahs.

  7. Don’t get me wrong, here — A-Rod is a giant douchebag. My point is that Jeter, IMO, on the douchebaggery scale, is one of the most prolific figures in professional sports. Perhaps behind only Kobe Bryant.

  8. Brian, I specifically meant to imply that from 96-06 the Yankees have put together a historically significant team. To use a marketing idiom a “Dynasty” and within baseball lore, Jeter will be remembered as the captain of this “Yankee Dynasty”.

    Here you go Ben,I fixed that quote of yours;
    “My point is that Jeter…is one of the most prolific figures in professional sports. Perhaps behind only Kobe Bryant.”
    I don’t think anyones dumb enough to get in front of Kobe Bryant do you?

    But seriously, any fan of baseball should hate how baseball markets itself. That Sosa/McGuire crap made me consider watching mens tennis instead. No one can control how the media portrays them, and Jeter’s one of their tools: perhaps willingly, and well compensated, but I doubt he’s concerned about his social or artistic integrity as he’s posing for Tiger Beat and shilling fruit-rollups. In-between his hotties and his millions, I don’t expect him to take up political cartooning. The world’s been an awesome place for Mr. Sanderson, and he probably looks at this nonsense as part of his job, or completely unrelated to it. I’ve watched thousands of hours of Jeter for a decade now. From what I can tell, Jeter’s a pretty vanilla guy that’s clearly nonconfrontational, willfully does his productive best, and dispenses lighthearted ribbings upon his teammates. Nothing wrong with a guy like that.

  9. Dear, darling Craigers,
    Surely you knew I was joking. As much as it pains me to admit, the past decade of baseball has been defined by the Yankees. Thankfully, the last five or so have also been defined by them losing the World Series.
    For all reasonable purposes, the Red Sox should be 10 games ahead. The fact that they’re not means something fun’s going to happen in September.
    Also, the NL sucks. In fact, the AL East and Central are the only divisions worth watching this year.

  10. Soccer players are such wimps, they cry about everything. You guys should watch some Aussie Football, those guys are real, tough like nails players.

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