Hey Guys

I’m forcing myself to post something here without the assistance of hilarious videos from decades past. Unfortunately, my outrage gland has done shriveled and died. So while politicians continue to be dumb and self-serving, there are only so many ways I can say that, and I’m saving them for the cartoon. (When I’m not drawing boobs on fish.)

So what’s new with you guys? How are the kids? I don’t really care. You should buy things from the Big Fat Whale store instead of telling me about your life. I would then spend your money on various adventures, and delving into my one true passion, thrift store art collecting.

Until you cheapos pay up, you might be able to entertain yourself at this website I wasted too much time putting together. I’m sure more energetic individuals will tell you all about it tomorrow.

18 thoughts on “Hey Guys”

  1. Great job on the website too.

    I was thinking just now. Weren’t you supposed to be posting more videos of your comic group? What happened to that?

  2. Your graphic is what makes the site. But enough of our circle-jerking.

    Our lack of a theater and the camera guy’s move to NYC has slowed our progress. Things should pick up in the fall.

    And for the super-curious, I’m Photoshopping our publicity photo at this very minute. Transforming myself from a hideous troll to a harmless goblin is very hard work.

  3. If you didn’t loose at the craps table you wouldn’t have to beg for others to spend at the Big Fat Whale Store; always go with the abandoned slot machine theory :-)

  4. All I know about craps comes from my high school’s performance of Guys and Dolls and those annoying Foxwoods commercials we get around here.

  5. Out of curiosity I NetFlixed “Guys and Dolls” (filmed in 1955); who could loose if you brought your own blank dice and memorized where the dots go?

    I learned a little about Craps from my dad who used to visit AC once in a while. He rarely plays now and refers to a story of a man who was addicted to gambling to the extent that he was sweating bullets and shaking as he gambled away his mortgage money. I’ll admit I haven’t played Craps in years because I have better luck with the ponies and the slot machine (don’t laugh). I used to go to Philadelphia Park and take notice to which jockeys, owners, trainers, horses where winning and at least be able to come up with a bet where I at least had to use my brain to determine. Being a horse lover I quit going when I learned how cruel the behind the scenes life was for the animals.

  6. If you freeze the DVD, you can see the part I played in high school. I did no speaking, singing, or dancing.

    There is some skill in playing the ponies. It is also the only form of gambling where female players can wear elaborate hats.

    You reminded me of this Nightline piece from the other night. I was going to write a post about how hypocrital I think that legislation is, but decided it was too much of a downer.

  7. Let me guess… you were the one selling solid gold watches for a $1.00 :-)

    In what respect of the article do you refer to it as hypocritical? I’m fairly certain I can argue anyway you want to take this.

  8. I wish! I was the boxer’s trainer.

    That’s another reason why I didn’t post it. I don’t like arguing. I’m way too nonconfrontational. I just don’t see how horses deserve better treatment than cows, pigs, or foreign brown people.

    For the record, I know I’m a hypocrite. I eat meat and give plenty of money to oil companies.

  9. The reason behind the ban is not exactly to do with slaughter but in the manner in which horses are purchased and shipped to the slaughter houses. There are laws to protect livestock but since horses are not considered livestock they do not fall under the same laws that protects caws, pigs, ect…. Laws such as feeding and watering down to they type of trailer they have to be transported in. Even though I am horse enthusiast I’m not going to say that I’m against slaughter but I am for the laws to protect them in the manner at which it is done. Horses that go for slaughter usually have something wrong with them, either they are sick or have broken bones among other things. Is it fair for a race horse that has broken a bone to be hauled off in a tractor trailer with no air ventilation, packed in with 50 other horses, and not be fed or watered for as much as 72 hours before it arrives at the slaughter house where it is than partial stunned in the head and not exactly unconscious, to then be hoisted up by it’s hind legs and have it throat slit in order for the blood to be drained out before it moves on down the line just so the owner can maybe get $500 for the animal? Depressing indeed.

    I’ll admit I eat meat, wear leather and give plenty of $ to the oil companies too…..

  10. Sorry to go into detail and for making it so long.

    You know the media; leave most of the facts out and manipulate the viewers with what’s left. Have you ever read Freakanomics? Goes into to this a little bit especially when it comes to statistics.

  11. No problem. I would’ve never known. I just don’t like my blog posts to be long and wonky, no matter how short and wonky I may be in real life.

    I’ve been meaning to read Freakanomics for years now. I just read Fast Food Nation last year, so I figure I’ll get to it sometime in ’08.

  12. If it helps any Freakonomics is a quick read and I think Amazon reduced it to $15.00….and your life is far from boring.

  13. A friend sent this to me…I thought it was cute.

    Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive
    blonde woman from South Alabama arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars
    ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind,
    but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she stripped to the
    waist, rolled the dice and yelled, “Come on, baby, Southern Girl needs new
    As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed… “YES! YES!
    I WON, I WON! “She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her
    winnings….. and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at
    each other dumfounded.
    Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”
    The other answered, “I don’t know… I thought you were watching”.

    Moral –
    Not all Southerners are stupid.
    Not all blondes are dumb,
    but all men….. are men

  14. Since when?………..OK so I don’t know that for sure it’s not like I’m on gay guy patrol when I’m at the casinos.

    As far as the gays what?……In respect to winning $ or of the moral of the life?

    The way I see it if a gay guy were to entrance the pit personal of a craps table it would certainly help if they were gay too. But there’s a problem. Straight guys are easy, especially when slapped with the element of surprise, such as boobs flashed at the table. They don’t see it coming and they go ooguling when it happens, and the woman get’s what she wants with minimal effort as the way life should be. Oops, sorry where not talking about me, where talking about the gay guy population.

    The problem is if the pit crew were gay and the gay player was trying to mesmerize them so that he could run off with there unearned winning, the gay player would need to evoke the element of surprise. Problem is that’s hard to do because gay guys aren’t easy to please. There’s the whole wardrobe, prop, and fetish thing going on that it wouldn’t work. If the pit crew sees a gay guy walking up in his black leather pants with a harness around his upper body, with a prominent package, and a Bat Man tool belt that has mink covered hand cuffs, flavored lubricating oil, flaming wand, complemented by a blind fold and cats tails, there’s got to be a cock ring in there somewhere; this would allow time for the pit crew to get their “game face on” or allow time for the pit boss to change rotation. The element of surprise is ruined. So now what?

    Things change if the pit crew were straight because straight men are easy to please and distract. So maybe all a gay guy needs to do is simply wax his chest and have breast implant installed, then waltz on over to the craps table and pull the same stunt as the Southern Bimbo did in the above scene; I wouldn’t call it a joke because it was too predictable.

    Now for the moral of the night……no matter if a guy is gay or straight it’s the element o f the unexpected surprise that will get the predator what he/she wants.

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