That Show Is Still On?

I don’t want to add to the buzz, but I also need to write something this week. Despite the Master Shake air freshner in my car, I haven’t found Aqua Teen Hunger Force to be funny for at least two years. Moral Orel and Tim & Eric’s output are the best of Adult Swim.

ATHF, Family Guy, and Epic Movie have all committed acts of terrorism against comedy this week alone.

Viral marketing is for products that can’t be sold on their own merits.

UPDATE: Just to clarify, the media and the government’s response was overblown. However, it’s just stupid to believe everyone in a city should be familiar with some late night cable dreck or circuitry. And if it was nighttime and people flipped out about those things, I’d agree that it would be stupid to think they posed a danger.

Just because those things weren’t bundles of dynamite with an alarm clock attached doesn’t mean they didn’t look suspicious dangling from important infrastructure.

Romney Is Stealing My Money

Massachusetts’ recently passed mandatory health insurance law is about to fuck me over. As a marginally employed freelancer, I’m required to buy expensive private insurance or face heavy penalties. Next week I’ll be jumping through various financial hoops to minimize the damage this law will do to my own meager finances, but if anyone reading this has suggestions, please offer them.

The only silver lining I can see to Romney’s fiasco bill is that it will harm so many people that a single payer system will finally be seen as the only logical solution to the nation’s health insurance problem. I have no doubt that the military industrial complex and health insurance companies are the two black eyes on capitalism’s otherwise dandy physique.

I’m in no hurry to have a camera jammed in my colon, but I would like to have the option for regular checkups instead of waiting until blood shoots out of my bum or some other emergency befalls me.

Also, go Pats! I guess. I’m a proud playoff bandwagoner. I admit it. The regular season is for chumps with nothing to do on Sundays.

The Joy of Winter

Sure it’s cold, and the lack of sunlight makes me grumpier than usual, but what other time of year do clips of cars sliding down streets and bumping into things count as news? I’ve certainly been no fan of soft news, but I could watch hours of this stuff. I also don’t have to commute and welcome as much snow as possible.

And while I’m praising the merits of news that serves no public good, I also got a kick out of this story yesterday. Nevermind all the serious crimes with tragic results happening in other neighborhoods that aren’t Beacon Hill.

That last sentence was brought to you by my self-righteousness.

From the Mailbag!

I rarely share emails in the blog since I don’t get hate mail and posting praise is pretty lame. However, Friday night I received an email long time readers will enjoy:

Hi Brian,are you really Brian Mcfadden from Westlife Boy Band?My name is Emily and I am a very big fan of you…Really need your reply and Thanks so much before.

I’m not making fun of the email, it’s perfectly polite and may even be a joke at my expense. I’m just lazy and don’t want to write anything of my own to post here this week.

The Amazing Animal Kingdom

animal kingdom
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This is the first time a whale has appeared in the comic in a long time. I just thought I’d point that out. And while words are dribbling out of me in barely coherent sentences this week, I’ll add that Don Rickles is great. I like a lot of old time comedians, but Milton Berle, Bob Hope, and George Burns (Not Gracie Allen, she was funny.) aren’t on my list.

Next Week: Not Seen on TV II

I’m Sitting on a Futon

Rather than wait for the middle of the week to write a pointless post, I’m going to do it now. I’ve already submitted this week’s cartoon to the papers, and am now drinking a fancy pants scotch and watching a show about conjoined teenagers. (They’re so brave!) I just have to reply to a few more emails and then the terrifying backlog of shit from the holidays will be a thing of the past.

I have nothing to talk about, except for my recent fascination with the history of Boston’s subway system. Did you know real estate prospecting is responsible for a significant portion of the T’s grid? Well I did, you ignorant motherfuckers. Other than that, I have nothing to add. I’ll try to catch up on the Oscar nominated movies and the very important political news. Other than that, I’m going to watch dumb TV and eat shitty food, as guaranteed in my American birthright.

Problem Solving With John McCain

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Sending more troops into Iraq will have the same effect as wishin’ on a star for the violence to stop. Sending them there without a plan to get them out means it’s just a troop increase. And since we don’t have the draft (Thank Christ in Space Heaven) that translates to longer deployments for the poor folks who volunteered for this stink fest. It’s a dumb idea.

I’ll use this space to announce that I’m going to be scaling back the political stuff for a while instead of alternating between politics and randomness each week. I’ll still do them, but when I have an opinion on something, instead of forcing it.

Also, does anyone feel like rewarding my lack of whining and nagging about the alt-comics biz by buying stuff from the store? No? That’s cool.

Next Week: Amazing Animals!