Fun With Physical Fitness

I’m not sure why I picked this topic. The Charlestonercise (Or Charlestoncise if you’re going for syllabic continuity) joke was bouncing around my head for a couple weeks. This was the best way to excise that demon from my head. Plus I also got to write a joke about balls.

It’s finally starting to warm up around here. While that’s great, I live right next to a well-trafficked pedestrian/bike path. It’s only a matter of time before my occipital lobes are bombarded with strangers’ balls bouncing to and fro. To AND fro I say.

Next Week: Pickin’ Up Chicks With Wolfowitz

7 thoughts on “Fun With Physical Fitness”

  1. several people at my place of work are responsible for creating the “underground john basedow league.”

    it consists entirely of a member sneaking up behind a fellow member and punching them in the kidney with a closed fist, followed by the punch-er shouting, “john basedow!” or simply, “basedow!” to the punch-ee. there are over 25 laws that need to be followed, or penalties are issued.

    violating most laws results in a “chuck norris,” which is where one must grab the top of a door frame and receive a close-fisted punch to each arm pit from a running start.

    i’m not a member. you know, because i don’t want to get punched in the kidneys. but yeah. john basedow.

  2. I like imagining some 80 year old women Charlestonercising outside the Paunches, trying to pick up some hotties exiting a “Working Off That Hotdog Eating Contest” seminar. (Yes, it’s a seminar. In my imagination, Paunches is an exercise center as well as a think tank.)

  3. That jogger drawing is disturbing…. I ever tell you about the jogger near me who wears just a speedo and gloves?

  4. clockwork – Do you work at a fraternity house?

    Rebecca – If Paunches were a real think thank, Zach Galifianakis would have to be its senior fellow, or I’d tear up my membership.

    Jon – Wearing just a speedo or gloves separately is disturbing. Wearing both, and only both makes my mind explode with questions and horrific imagery.

  5. haha, no. i go to an art college in chicago.

    i work in the film cage (which doesn’t resemble a cage at all), and stuff like this comes up because there’s a lot of free time. like, people will spend 4 weeks painstakingly constructing a set of armor made from cardboard, and then have jousting matches on chairs. the manager of the place recreated The Witch King’s armor from Lord of the Rings in explicit detail.

    i dunno. film is a strange confluence between blue-coller worker and high-art, depending on the student, so this kind of behavior is pretty typical. i have no other explanation, though. it’s as wierd to me as it is to you.

    oh, and “Paunches” is an inspired idea. i smell a franchise….

  6. I actually saw REAL people doing Charlestoncise today! I thought of you and laughed inside my head (and only inside my head, because I was working for these people!)
    Let me explain. On Sundays, I work at school for a group that rents the pool, and some time in the cafeteria. It’s a group for mentally handicapped youth. They come swim, then they have arts and crafts or some type of therapy like music or dance. Today they danced.
    So here I was, watching mentally handicapped teens do charlestoncise, nearly peeing my pants trying not to laugh.
    If there were such thing as hell, I would be riding the bus to go there right now.

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