“Dog-Style Lovemaking”

Zach Galifianakis (America’s #1 Gigglesmith) has a funny article in this issue of Vice. Sadly, I’m going to be in DC the one time El Beardo comes to Boston. Screw you, cruel god of comedy!

And if you’re a fan of laughter (I estimate about half of you are; the other half are shrill, humorless progressives. {Didn’t think that was funny? Exactly my point!}), buy Paul F. Tompkins’ new CD from A Special Thing, Home Depot for comedy nerds. It had me laughing up a stink storm while staring at reference photos of Nancy Pelosi and Alberto Gonzales. No small feat.

Tomorrow’s Technology Today

It’s been a while since I really got my nerd on in the strip. So here are some technology jokes. The wiki on haptics should give some background to those of you who didn’t spend time in a mechanical engineering building. Or you can skip all that learnin’ and get right to the teledildonics.

And yes, I am aware of Dysfunctional Family Circus.

BFW News: Join me and my CWA betters for a slideshow and signing July 7th in DC. Details. I’ll remind you all again as it gets closer.

Next Week: Heloise tackles a tough stain

‘Cuz It’s Wednesday Baby

Here are some more Flight of the Conchords clips to whet your appetite for their series premiere this Sunday on HBO.

Business Time – Flight of the Conchords

If You’re Into It, plus two more songs.

The Humans Are Dead

Watch this show! If you don’t, then be prepared for me to roll my eyes in your general, lame-brain direction.

In Lieu of Opinions, Pictures

I’m aware mountain biking doesn’t fall under the usual scope of this blog, but I took a few photos while riding at Lynn Woods today and figured I’d share. It should give you some idea what I do when I’m not cartooning or filtering the internet for stupid crap. You can click on all of the images for better detail.

Boston Skyline (Detail)

That’s the Boston skyline from what I’m guessing is about 15 miles away. I also saw the ocean from this vantage point at the base of the Steel Tower. Embarrassingly enough, this is the first time I’ve seen the ocean (Boston Harbor, Long Island Sound, and the Chesapeake Bay don’t count) in five years.

Dungeon and BikeDungeon DoorThis is Dungeon Rock. Some nineteenth century wackado blasted a giant cave into solid rock searching for pirate treasure. I didn’t bring a flashlight and cycling cleats aren’t the best spelunking gear, so I didn’t go beyond the unlocked door. However, I’m pretty sure the cave is littered with empties and other deadbeat paraphernalia.

The riding there is a good mix of technical and fast elevation changes. I recommend it for anyone who likes that kind of crap.

Hey America! Look at Us!

Can you tell I’m not too keen on politics at the moment? I don’t have much stomach for the business of actual government either. That Iraq thing’s still going on, huh? I went easy on Hillary because of the poo joke from a couple months ago. Obama’s caricatures were inspired by real events, and Matt’s blog.

If you have no idea what the final panel is about, this internet sensation should clear things up:

Also, Romney really would hump an ottoman if a poll told him too. On warm days here in Massachusetts, we can still catch a whiff of the Mittster. It smells of cabbage and pomade.

Next Week: Tomorrow’s Technology Today

Extra: Regular Folks Edition

This entire comic exists solely for the center panel. I thought up the phrase “plush, imaginary asshole” and the rest wrote itself; poorly I might add. I don’t have an opinion on celebrity gossip and tabloids beyond “who gives a shit?” At least people who spend all of their time worrying about the personal lives of people on magazine covers probably don’t have enough time to pry into your own. Or maybe they do. Those morons ain’t got shit to do.

Next Week: Hey America! Look at Us! We’re Running for President!