Aren’t I about twenty years too old to have poison ivy? Either way, I have it on both of my arms. I also have minor scrapes on my left leg. I might complete the look by walking around with a propeller beanie on my head and a slingshot in my back pocket.

4 thoughts on “Poison!”

  1. i once got poison ivy concurrently with about 15 to 20 mosquito bites. only… i didn’t know i had poison ivy until the bites had gone away, and i was left with several huge patches of misery-inducing skin.

    one of them was on my inner thigh, and it was fucking awful.

    get thee to a doctor, my son! that shit is enough to drive men to homicide.

  2. Freshman year of college I was running somewhere on the outskirts of Baltimore and had to make an “emergency pit stop” in a public park. (with all of its bathrooming facilities locked) Being a recent transplant from the West Coast, I was not immediately acquainted with the more dangerous fauna of the East Coast. To make a long story short, grabbed the wrong kind of leaves. No joke.

    The worse part was even though the very understanding nurse practitioner at the Health and Wellness center gave me a prescription for a reasonably effective steroid cream, they didn´t have it at the pharmacy in the Wyman Park Building and I ended up having to walk all the way to the rotunda, grimacing with every slide of cheek across cheek. At least I got out of a week`s worth of cross country practices.

  3. Gabe – I must be really old. Is the Wyman Park Building part of the campus? I don’t remember it at all. If you were wiping your ass in Wyman Park, or probably anywhere else around Hopkins, you’re lucky all you got was poison ivy and not SUPERAIDS.

    Thinking about this has given me a nostalgic hankering for a CC Carryout cheesesteak.

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