I spotted this while urinating at the impeccable Brockton Fair toilets during a demolition derby.
Brockton, even if you spell it incorrectly, doesn’t suck ass. It sucks balls, and that’s it. Maybe I’m ego-centric, but has Easton produced a snarky cartoonist? No?! Of course not. That place is fuckin’ boring. Brockton is where it’s at. Brockton nurtures nerds like you wouldn’t believe. I’d have a real job by now if Brockton really sucked ass.
But seriously folks, only move there if you suck at driving and enjoy being part of the shittiest driving community I ever had the displeasure of driving with. Really. You Brockton peeps suck at cars!
The AV Club has a hilarious round-up of over-the-top-patriotic-songs. Here’s a brief collection of songs I can enjoy over the holiday without a shred of embarrassment.
click for comic
The media likes to call people who believe email rumors “low information voters.” They should be called what they really are: “Dumbshit taint-stains who somehow managed to avoid being classified as retarded due to poor parenting and/or underfunded school systems.” These dumb fucks should be rounded up and put in a giant press and converted into a thick paste called “moron dressing” that us smart folks could put on our elitist salads. (You can ask for it on the side if you’re not on board with my Mental Cleansing campaign of terror.)
Bonus Obama smear: He blames all his farts on Michelle.
Next Week: Ask a Carny II