Matt Taibbi Is a National Treasure

I’m pretty sure this was written before her poll numbers started to fall, but his point still stands. The folks who were wowed by her when she was first rolled out are still fuckin’ dumb. It just turns out that they’re not quite as fuckin’ dumb as she is.

Here’s what Sarah Palin represents: being a fat fucking pig who pins “Country First” buttons on his man titties and chants “U-S-A! U-S-A!” at the top of his lungs while his kids live off credit cards and Saudis buy up all the mortgages in Kansas.

Maybe some good ol’ fashioned hard times will get these morons’ minds right.

A Solution to the Economic Crisis

We need a new bubble to fool-heartedly invest in. I humbly suggest alt-weekly cartoons. Fungible Funnies! Now gimme your money! There’s equity in my stack of cartoons. I promise!

Even I, a lowly fart-joke merchant, knew the housing bubble was fucked over five years ago. The same folks who did nothing to address it in all that time are now saying we have to act fast? With some bullshit plan slapped together in a week? Fuck that noise.

Sarah Palin is Your Old Testament

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I’m a week late to the Palin pig pile. (That’s my only nod to the lipstick nonsense.) If the title of this comic confuses you, you somehow managed to avoid Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle during the primaries. And yes, I registered it.

That fundie wackadoo is a right-wing stereotype come to life: incurious, reactionary, mendacious, Rapture-y. There are many reasons why you shouldn’t vote for her, but here’s the most superficial: Her accent annoys me. I’d rather have Vice President Fran Drescher than listen to that rhotic phony bumpkin speak for the next four years.

Bible nerds: I know some of the stuff in the cartoon is from the New Testament. In fact, that was the original title of the cartoon. But I didn’t think it conveyed how regressive and backwoods Ms. Shit-for-Brains, excuse me, Governor Shit-for-Brains really is.

We’re in the final weeks before the election, so all you fart-and-dick-joke aficionados will have to deal with an increase in political content at least until then. If you want more funny and less partisan shrillness from me, then you better get your ass in gear and help elect Barack Obama.

Next Week: John McCain’s Economic Philosophy

Hot Lattes

Following up on Shannon’s post, it seems like we’re getting closer to Idiocracy much faster than it took Orwell’s work to become realized here in the States. I heard about these sexy espresso huts a month or so ago when some perv had a pot of hot water tossed on him, but I had no idea it was a phenomenon.

But who am I to judge? I often make coffee in my underwear too, and I don’t even get paid.

Blog Troubles

What I thought would be a quick update of this blog’s database turned into a not so fun night of mucking around with its lovely innards. Turns out I didn’t have a recent backup of the blog’s template files, so I had to rejigger them to get all the more recent stuff, like avatars and tags to work again.

Technically I didn’t HAVE to, but I did for some reason. I think it’s good enough now, but if something’s fucked up, let me know.

Monster Scientific Apparatus Rally

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I love these wonderful science toys, but  PHDs need to come up with snappier names. What’s wrong with “Humongous Helical Magnotron?” Van De Graaff-Osaurus would also jazz up the Museum of Science’s Theater of Electricity. Yikes! That website is almost old enough to vote.

While putting stuff together for this cartoon, I came across this hilarious faux Monster Truck Rally commercial:

And while I’m YouTubin’, here’s the Large Hadron Rap you might’ve seen around the nerdosphere:

UPDATE: I was off on the amount of voltage. Van De Graaff generators are capable of producing much higher voltages, and it would take much more than 10,000 volts to zap a creationist. What can I say? I was a mechanical, not an electrical, engineer. Robots are better than breadboards. It’s a FACT!

Next Week: Sarah Palin Is Your Old Testament