Publicity Stunts for the War in Afghanistan

Afghanistan Publicity
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Consider this the companion piece to this cartoon. In another three years, when these two quagmires are still dragging on, I might do another comic where they team up in a drug-fueled raunchy comedy, kind of like Harold and Kumar.

A couple helicopter crashes and Michael Hoh resigning have improved things a bit this week, but Afghanistan has never gotten much attention. We can blame the media for some of it, but let’s not pretend that Americans have a deep thirst for knowledge that’s being stifled by the likes of Fox News. We’s a bunch of morons! The fate of Balloon Boy captivated the nation, but when it comes to foreign children getting blown up by Predator drones, we couldn’t give two shits.

I’m not excusing myself either. I love being a big ol’ ignorant goofball making fart jokes. I sleep better that way. If you want far more regular coverage of this mess, colleagues like Ted Rall, Kevin Moore, and Matt Bors are a better bet. (Sorry I didn’t link to anyone else, but my fart jokes don’t write themselves!)

And yeah, I created a Twitter account for Afghanistan War. I doubt it’ll get as much attention from me as the Tweeting Toaster.

Next Week: Internet Knockoffs

Halloween Tips n’ Tricks

Halloween Tips n' Tricks
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Sorry if this offends real life flame-retards. I couldn’t come up with another joke to take its place because I spent too much time time vacillating between using jizz stain and cum stain in the last panel. Although the latter sounds funnier (K sounds are the funniest phoneme.), I went with the former because it sounds less pornographic.

It’s dilemmas like these that keep my mind limber.

UPATE: About the rape whistle. Someone brought this up over on Facebook, and I want to be clear that I’m not saying anyone in a sexy cat, nurse, or witch costume is asking to be raped. I’m making fun of those costume cliches, and the ridiculousness of wearing something designed to get strangers to look at your tits combined with a rape whistle.

So ladies, if you insist on being a sexy something for Halloween, at least be an original sexy something. Like a sexy Walter Cronkite ghost.

Next Week: Publicity Stunts for the War in Afghanistan



I only recently became aware of this Latisse prescription eyelash medicine bullshit because I canceled my subscription to Lady Maxim last year.

Since these pharmaceutical wizards are too busy making dicks and eyelashes bigger to find a cure for cancer, the least they can do is make Brain Candy a reality. Speaking of which, here’s some bonus BRUCIO! for you guys:

Modern Medical Marvels

Modern Medical Marvels

Face transplants, hand transplants, tooth-eyes. Why are so many recent medical advances so fucking disgusting?

I’ve got the little organ donor heart on my license, but I’ll be damned if some handless stranger gets mine and jerks off with them.

Due to an equipment failure, I was forced to draw and letter this comic entirely on a tablet. Can you tell?

If you don’t know what Auto-Tune is, it’s what makes this possible:

Next Week: Glenny’s Kids

A Doodle for Animals


Mike, who previously pulled a Full-Lincoln, threw a couple bucks to my favorite animal shelter, and as a result, he got this doodle up on the blog, as per his specifications.

If you want me to be your picture bitch, donate, then send me an email with your doodle request, and it’ll be up on the blog not long after that. If you don’t donate, Sorbet will call you a shithead.

This Sunday is APCSM’s first Paws in the Park event at Borderland State Park. It’s the perfect event to get some air for you and your pets before winter traps you all inside with each others’ farts.

BFW Quickie


In the lounge of the garage where I was getting my catalytic converter fixed, I swear I must’ve seen 5 separate daytime court TV shows. Luckily there were some recent Sports Illustrateds to keep me entertained.

I’m now calling these weekly tablet exercises BFW Quickies, which gives me more leeway to post them whenever I damn well please.

Sometime later tonight I’ll post the first cartoon from the APCSM fund drive.

Bad-Ass Baucus

Bad-Ass Baucus
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No matter how many elections Democrats have won, a handful of centrists have been enacting the same do-nothing “compromises” on the party since the nineties.

When the Republicans got a paper thin 51% majority, they were able to pass all sorts of partisan shit. Give the Democrats a super majority, and all they can do is bend over backwards kissing Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe’s wrinkly, shouldn’t-be-from-New-England asses.

Next Week: Modern Medical Marvels