Vote, My Fellow Massholes

Sure, the weather’s shit, and both candidates ran awful negative campaigns that started during the holidays, which soured all normal folks on this election, but your vote is important. If you don’t vote, only the tea bag nuttos will turn out and get to pick the douche who’s going to represent us for the next three years.

I believe this election wouldn’t be close if Capuano won the primary, but the Democratic establishment is a mighty beast here, so we got Coakley. There are many valid reasons to bitch and moan about her, but she is the only choice if you care about ending wars (or at least not starting any new ones), gay marriage, health care, or think Ayn Rand is a selfish twat, rather than a financial genius.

So vote, and don’t let Kennedy’s Seat get stunk up by a dude who’s gonna be embarrassing us on Fox News for the next three years.

11 thoughts on “Vote, My Fellow Massholes”

  1. Uhh…you DO know she refused to prosecute someone for raping a toddler and faked evidence which imprisoned an innocent man? Just checking to make sure you’re aware. Oh and what was your insurance bill this month?

  2. Blake – Photographic proof of nakedness is the first requirement for the legislative branch.

    ComradeZero – I’ll tell you how much my insurance bill was if you give your name and say how much you spend on boner pills.

  3. What’s really funny is that this wouldn’t have been a big deal if Kennedy had given his seat up when he became unable to carry out his duties as senator over a year ago. National and local opposition to the health care plan wasn’t anywhere near where it is now. People still believed that Obama could deliver hope and change. It would have been business as usual in the Commonwealth to send another Democrat to DC… hell, Kennedy could have hand picked his successor.

    But… Kennedy (or maybe his staff, who knows how well he was doing in his final year) cared more about keeping the seat than representing the citizens of MA, or the citizens of the US for that matter. And now it looks like a Republican will win, and will end up being the vote that defeats health “reform”.

  4. I also voted for Scott Brown, but not because he posed nude. That makes no sense at all.

    I voted for Brown because Curt Schilling’s bloody sock puppet left me a long-winded voice mail telling me to do so. After all, if you can’t trust Schilling’s bloody sock puppet, who CAN you trust?

  5. Haha! My state is better than yours because we have TWO Democratic Senators. Of course, you have universal health coverage and same-sex marriage, which my fellow Oregonians banned when they voted for your last remaining Democratic Senator for President. But, hey —

    I got nothing. This all sucks.

  6. Well, since my name is Susan, boner pills wouldn’t be very effective. Since you’re a socialized medicine supporter, I guess you wouldn’t mind paying so I can get some anyway?

  7. And just so you don’t wast your time on a cheap shot – none of the men in my life have a problem getting boners on their own. :)

  8. mt – Absolutely. “Spending time with my tumor.” is a perfectly valid reason to resign.

    Disabuser – I only trust Schilling’s sock puppet when it’s hawking Dragon Naturally Speaking.

    Kevin – Now that he’s out of the state senate, at least Brown can’t take my MA public option away.

    ComradeZero – Since you were searching for and posting comments (about BABY RAPE) on blogs you disagreed with but don’t read, I assumed you were a dude. My apologies.

    And since this is a HUMOROUS WEBSITE, which you might’ve known if you looked at more than the one post that riled you up, you’d know that cheap shots about dicks are my stock and trade. So, I support socialized medicine for all, except for Susan, who apparently hoards boners.

  9. Now now chill. I’ve been reading your work for quite some time now. Anyone who dislikes hipster douchebags is someone I can find some common ground with.

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