Big Fat Valentines


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Happy Week Before Valentine’s Day y’all! Here’s last year’s. And the one from the year before that. One day I’ll get around to printing and packaging all of these in a tidy little set. But I say the same thing every year and never follow through. Consider that annual empty promise my valentine to all of you.

If you’re still stumped on what to get your valentine, may I suggest a signed copy of the Big Fat Whale book, Fun Stuff for Dum-Dums? Comics last longer than flowers, and fart jokes don’t fatten asses like chocolate. And if you ain’t got nobody, buy my book instead of a drinking a fifth of whiskey and eating a pint of ice cream. Your liver and non-drunk-dialed-exes will thank you. Order by the end of Monday to get it in time. (International folks: Please celebrate Valentine’s Day on the 21st.)

Next Week: Celebrate Presidents Day

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