How to Celebrate Presidents’ Day


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Does it need the apostrophe? If grammar nerds can’t decide, I’m not even going to try.

Today is Lincoln’s actual birthday, and I encourage the creation of Potato Lincolns in his honor. I’ll post any photos you send in on Tuesday. But you probably shouldn’t throw them at anyone, unless they’re REALLY racist, like John Mayer’s wang.

Next Week: History’s Greatest Recalls

11 thoughts on “How to Celebrate Presidents’ Day”

  1. Awesome. And as always, it’s the little details that really crack me up. This time it’s the thumbs up from the guy getting head. Douchey like a David Duke cock.

  2. Just thought I would add my support to Van Buren wigs for babies. That is some awesome hairstyling right there.

    Really, I’m sure any of the ‘dos’ of the Founding Fathers would work.

  3. Americans should support Sexy Nurse for President in 2012. Only she can provide the “lift” (Hem-hem) America needs in these dark times. Plus a “trick-or-treat” Corporate Tax (whereby Corporations give loads of cash to President S Nurse or have their properties egged/limousine tyres slashed) would be welcome

  4. Eth Zee – I’ve been predicting a powdered wig comeback for almost a decade now.

    Warren – I’d do it the other way around, to avoid getting an atomic racist wedgie.

    Chris – Sexy Nurse will be a welcome change from the disaster that is the President Sexy Cat Administration.

    ComradeZero – Her ads, Newt’s, and the flat belly crap are what my website extra classy.

  5. Chris – It’s a logo borrowed from a Russian sci-fi film, not the Arrow-cross party – it would be green if it were that.

    Brian – Class!? With all the Highbrow elitist liberal humor here no extra class is needed. :P

  6. @Brian: That would be the greatest. Powdered wigs for all! (Okay, maybe not everyone. We’d need a group of wigless persons who we can lord our wig-ly superiority over)

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