Bunning Baseball Jokes

[Cartoonist Note: It was announced that Jim Bunning ended his filibuster threat while I was typing this up. That doesn’t change the fact that he remains a senile turd.]

Bunning is the Grandpa Abe Simpson of the Senate. I don’t have anything to say about how he partially froze the government beyond what Kevin Moore and David Rees have already said. BUT, I have been driven insane by all the baseball puns and clichés used by news outlets covering this story.

I’m sure there have been countless others, all as groan-inducing as a Jay Leno monologue. In the interest of improving the quality of topical Bunning-baseball humor, I whipped up a few jokes:

Government spending caused Jim Bunning to balk, allowing Harry Reid to advance to second base. Olympia Snowe’s breasts were not pleased.

Jim Bunning and Curt Schilling walk into a bar. They wouldn’t shut the fuck up and everyone left before they got to the punchline.

Jim Bunning treated the unemployed to some chin music this week, if you consider the sound of his wrinkly old balls slapping against poor people’s faces to be musical.

Pitchers and catchers reported a couple weeks ago, except for former pitcher Jim Bunning. He was busy eating out a Kentucky Tea Partier’s asshole.

It’s a shame I’m not on anyone’s fax list.

2 thoughts on “Bunning Baseball Jokes”

  1. Here’s another joke:

    President Obama and his advisers sounded an alarm Monday [Feb 23, 2010] on the ballooning $1.3 trillion federal deficit, saying that it would get worse and offering tough talk with a promise the administration will cut the deficit in half by reverting to pay-as-you-go rules.

    “The pay-go approach is based on a very simple concept. You don’t spend what you don’t have. So if we want to spend, we’ll need to find somewhere else to cut,” the president said at the White House Fiscal Responsibility Summit. “This is the rule that families across this country follow every single day, and there’s no reason why their government shouldn’t do the same.”

    I guess the joke is on us though….

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