The Colonel Wants You

We’re just days away from Kentucky Fried Chicken’s newest awful thing, the Double Down, a bacon and cheese sandwich made with two pieces of fried chicken instead of bread. We shouldn’t call it a chicken sandwich, because that’s not how the -sandwich syntax works.

If you hadn’t heard of this culinary abomination, here’s the commercial.

Along with their sadness bowls, KFC has abandoned its core mission of making tasty fried chicken. Taco Bell did a similar thing when they shifted focus from making tacos to wrapping baby shit in a soft shell tortilla.

10 thoughts on “The Colonel Wants You”

  1. I’m curious when exactly the shift occurred in this country from eating to you’re full to (as Louis CK put it) eating until you HATE YOURSELF

  2. Garth – Sometime in the eighties? Perhaps we as a nation are still mourning Christa McAuliffe and the rest of the Challenger crew by eating our pain away.

    Abell – Cutting out the carbs, and adding a whole other piece of greasy, fatty chicken!

  3. Every once in a while when my wife is out of town I eat KFC. I have to make sure to eat it at least two days before she gets back home because it make my pores ooze dumpster-smell for 48 hours.

  4. KFC – I’d probably indulge every once in a while too if one was still nearby. I’m surprised they haven’t already packaged their gravy with a bendy straw.

    Chris – It’s catchy!

  5. It’s not gross at all Diana, it probably tastes incredible. The impact on your health however leaves a lot to be desired.

    I’m stunned by the fact that so many people still eat at these places. i’m sure you’ve seen “This Is Why You’re Fat” website? I think it’s ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com

  6. I love the “Mad black guy” often required to REALLY sell chicken products. “YOU DA MAN, COLONEL!”. I can’t wait for the “Chicken Deathwich” to hit the UK’s shores

  7. Those brave souls.

    I’ll try that horrible thing at some point. I eat almost any damn thing sold. I’m gastronomically adventurous/retarded

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