Future Fatty Foods


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Inspired by the Double Down’s recent emergence from the cholesterol-clogged gates of hell, I returned to the subject of extreme food, which simultaneously appalls and fascinates me.

I’m not a food prude; I love cheese and pig meat. But things are getting crazy in the garbage-food industry. Baconators, the Heart Attack Grill, and any new food Dunkin’ Donuts has come up with in the last few years take a perverse pride in the unhealthiness of their products. At least the tobacco industry had the decency to downplay the awfulness of their products.

It’s your digestive system and arteries and you can eat whatever you want. It’s none of my business if your only exercise is spending hours squeezing out five pounds of garbage on the toilet.

Extreme food requires extreme cooking, which is something Jen covered a couple weeks ago.

Why not skip the combo meal today and buy the Big Fat Whale book? It’s full of comics, and after you’re done reading them, you can eat the pages to clear out your impacted colon.

Next Week: Public Disservice Announcements

3 thoughts on “Future Fatty Foods”

  1. I like how on the Baconator’s Wikipedia page it says, “It is one of their late-teen–to–young-adult, male-orientated products.” I don’t see how this is different from every other food product without fruit-like substances or cartoon characters on it.

    I guess we can’t go to the Heart Attack Grill now because it is in Arizona, dammit.

  2. Blake – I’m looking into franchising “Big Fat Whale’s” with every awful thing in this comic on the menu.

    Amanda – Maybe they fry the bacon in Axe body spray to ensure it targets the young-male-douche demographic.

    Hopefully the Heart Attack Grill thins Arizona’s racist population.

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