The Great Unemployment Spill

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10% unemployment is really awful. Democrats are so scared of being called names, they’re never going to mention that more government spending is the only thing that can create the massive amount of jobs that are needed.

The country’s infrastructure needs lots of work and people are running out of unemployment benefits. So why not hire them to do the shit that needs doing? The military and the census can only hire so many people. Or we can listen to the deficit hawks and slash budgets and watch everything crumble, just in time for the 20th anniversary of the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Also, the oil disaster sucks. Let’s hire a few million people to build some windmills and solar panels so they stop drilling for that shit.

Next Week: Crappy Carnival Rides

7 thoughts on “The Great Unemployment Spill”

  1. Wow, that’s so simple, why didn’t we think of that earlier! Someone get this man a cabinet position, stat!

  2. FDR tried that and the Republicans crucified him for being a “socialist” and a “Red”. I can just imagine Obama’s problems if he created a public works program. Unfortunately, we all know this country is full of ignorant dumb asses.

  3. Woohoo!!! Why stop there??? Let’s spend a trillion dollars per year on generating new make-work jobs. And let’s throw another two trillion per year at universal health care. And another two trillion per year for social security and welfare. And another trillion per year over fed/state/local govt for our fantastic educational system. And let’s spread another trillion around to all our new czar’s so they can have some walking around money. We can even offset a trillion of the costs by shutting down the military!!! Who needs em when we’re living in a liberal utopia?

  4. Look up my numbers. They’re not far off from what this “reality” might be.

    Maybe I’m a bit high on welfare costs, but hey, who cares about a few hundred billion anymore. Now’s the chance to make a trillion the new billion (and a billion the new earmark).

    If 700B over 2+ years is weak sauce, I say a trillion for gov’t jobs is awesome sauce. But don’t worry. Now that elections are coming up, the remaining half of the stimulus funds are sure to be spent in short order.

  5. As a baby pelican covered in unemployment goop I can attest to the unawesomenmous of weak sauce. At least in the wangy-est state such jobs are reserved for pregnant women(or single moms) living well below the poverty line even if they also require advanced degrees
    I’m not saying that a poor knocked up woman with an mba shouldn’t get a job just that the MBA part should matter more than the bastard child in waiting part should….

  6. Excellent comments, except for the dummy.

    Prolonged unemployment is going to make millions of angry people, and many of them are going to blame their problems on other unemployed people, instead of the corporations and the government that aren’t hiring.

    The military is the largest jobs program we have, and they’re primarily focused on fixing shit in other countries. How military spending isn’t considered…

    Ah, fuck it, I’m bored. Travel back in time to 1937 to have this argument for the first time.

    Happy 4th!

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