I’m Walkin’ Ovah Heah!

I’m sure I have “Sidewalk Rage,” if that’s even a thing, but why do slow-walkers get a pass from that fuckin’ article? The disabled and anyone with a kid who can no longer fit in a bjorn have obvious excuses, and I’ll make exceptions for tourists when I make the dumb decision to visit a touristy part of town (Fenway, and that’s about it.), but a regular ol’ adult who walks slowly just to smell the fuckin’ roses? Fuck that selfish asshole.

The best advice comes at the very end of the article:

Most people tend to look down as they walk. That’s a mistake, says Mehdi Moussaid, a cognitive scientist at the University of Toulouse who models walkers’ behavior on public sidewalks and was an author of the PLoS One study. Some of his advice: Look up and take a wide-angle view to catch openings and slip through.

Cool tip, scientist. I think you’ve been watching too much Arrested Development.

On a serious note, unless you’re in New York City, there isn’t enough sidewalk space in cities to accommodate everyone, hence the anger. And as mad as I get at sidewalk slowpokes, it’s nothing compared to the shitheads from the suburbs who demand multiple lanes and on-street parking that cut into my precious sidewalk real estate.

4 thoughts on “I’m Walkin’ Ovah Heah!”

  1. What annoys me is not the ones who walk slowly, but the ones who walk slowly four or five abreast, so there’s no way to get past them.

  2. Now that I’m in airports twice a week my sidewalk rage is mounting. Particularly people who get on an escalator or moving walkway and don’t get the concept of stand right/walk left. And worse than people standing still on the left are those who stand to the right and park their enormous “carry-on” bag beside them blocking everything. Rant completed, rage subsiding…. at least until my next flight.

  3. Warren – In my old neighborhood, college students were the worst offenders. The obliviousness of teenagers can turn anyone into a “Get off my lawn!” type.

    Meaty – They take that shit seriously in London, even on those horizontal moving walkways, AKA Fatty Conveyor Belts.

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