“Lion Meat” Scam Alert

I love eating everything Noah decided to put on that crazy ark of his (except for people*, even the dumb religious ones), so naturally this headline caught my eye:

Mesa Restaurant’s Lion Burgers Draw Protests

Awesome, right? Even if it’s in that racist shithole of Arizona, I’d consider making the trip to eat a motherfuckin’ (farm-raised, not wild, mind you) lion. But then I read this:

The lion burgers, which will be mixed with ground beef, will be served with corn and spiced kettle chips. The restaurant will offer a South African wine to complement the $21 dish.

“MIXED WITH GROUND BEEF?!” If I want to eat a stupid cow that couldn’t hunt and kill a gazelle to save its stupid fucking life, I’d go to any ol’ steakhouse. Why not mix the finest whisky with some Budweiser while you’re at it?

Also, corn and spiced kettle chips? Jesus Christ, Arizona. This is what happens when you kick out the only ethnicity in your state who knows how to make side dishes.

*Dolphins, whales, and apes are all people as far as this post is concerned.