Austerity Survival Guide

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Unless you’re a rich dick, the “recovery” of the last year or so never materialized. Growth has been anemic, if at all, and unemployment is still at 9%! I know I’ve been harping on the unemployment thing, but it’s a pretty big deal. The more people who are working, the more revenues come in, even with the shitty Bush tax cuts being extended by Obama in perpetuity.

Gas Prices

If unemployment figures and other important economic statistics were plastered on easy-to-read signs at every intersection, maybe dum-dums would finally realize how bad income inequality has gotten in this country and get mad for the right reasons. Of course, that would require them to understand the difference between average and median, so I’m just gonna stop that line of thought.

Put your diaper-pants on tomorrow morning! A shit joke is coming up in Friday’s cartoon!

New Careers for the New Economy


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I drew another cartoon about shitty jobs almost two years ago, and the job market is still in shambles. Obviously, cutting programs is the only solution. Returning tax levels to anything resembling sanity, and spending it on much-needed infrastructure, which also happens to create jobs, is impossible. Because the wealthy are cunts and the majority of voters naively think they’re gonna be rich one day too. Fat chance, dum-dums!

As for content farms, I’m not just talking about HuffPo, but what seems like every goddamn website that claims to be about news. I stopped reading TPM after they started pulling the lame pageview-grubbing slideshow bullshit, and may do the same for the Boston Globe’s website after this crap was hogging front page real estate for most of the week :

Quality journalism, you guys!

Next Week: Awful Ailments

Filthy Rich Facts


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The way I feel about rich people is very similar to how Arizonians feel about Mexicans. Except my loathing is justified. If the rich believed in sound economics, they’d be beatifying Eisenhower instead of Reagan. While no FDR, at least Ike knew progressive taxes were what kept the rabble spending and sustaining economic growth. Unfortunately, anyone proposing taxes like we had in the fifties is called a communist today, because people are fucking dumb and don’t remember yesterday, let alone stuff that happened sixty years ago.

This country’s fucked until poor people stop sniping at each other and start flinging shit at the rich. If you’re uncomfortable with that sort of action, at least crop-dust every fancy pants you pass on the street.

If you are rich, and one of the good ones, buy some of my stuff. I will personally inscribe whatever you buy with a “FUCK YOU, MONEYBAGS!” as a thank you.

Next Week: Xmas Gift Ideas

Class Warfare Combat Guide


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The Republicans won control of the House because Democrats didn’t do enough to help the economy. The compromised health care bill and weak sauce stimulus were half-measures at best, only slowing the rate at which the economy is turning into shit. And when people don’t have any money, they get pissed. Mostly at things that have little to do with their problems, because most people, rich and poor, are stupid fucks.

Until the Democrats become a truly populist party, fighting corporate interests and greedy fucks instead of giving them tax breaks and deregulation, they’ll always be uninspiring Republican-lite centrists. This isn’t just bad news for the party, but for the economy. The disparity between the rich and poor is worse now than during the Gilded Age. Until the middle class has enough change in its pockets to start buying stupid shit, like houses and cars, the economy will be stagnant, or worse.

Next Week: 27 Cent Book Bin

Unemployment Survival Tips


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This goes out to all of you unemployeds, underemployeds, and discouraged folks who are no longer actively looking for jobs. Special thanks to that last group for making unemployment numbers look better than reality!

And if you have a job, buy some BFW stuff so I can upgrade my couch cushion cubicle.

Next Week: Tabloid Science

The Great Unemployment Spill


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10% unemployment is really awful. Democrats are so scared of being called names, they’re never going to mention that more government spending is the only thing that can create the massive amount of jobs that are needed.

The country’s infrastructure needs lots of work and people are running out of unemployment benefits. So why not hire them to do the shit that needs doing? The military and the census can only hire so many people. Or we can listen to the deficit hawks and slash budgets and watch everything crumble, just in time for the 20th anniversary of the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Also, the oil disaster sucks. Let’s hire a few million people to build some windmills and solar panels so they stop drilling for that shit.

Next Week: Crappy Carnival Rides