Stimulus II: The Restimulating

Stimulus II
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Nobody listens to Krugman. He needs to be appointed the Pope of the Treasury if we’re ever going to get out of this economic shit-pickle. These ideas are goofs, but the first stimulus only slowed down the freefall. (Think of it as giving Hammer Pants to a dude who fell out of a plane instead of a parachute.)

The same folks who claim government spending doesn’t create jobs are the same ones who bitch and moan when a military base is threatened with closure. For the Republicans and Blue Dogs who stifled the first stimulus, spending only counts when it’s on bailouts or bombs.

Speaking of the super-shitty economy, did you know about the Big Fat Whale Holiday Bargain?

Even though I’m in Philly and heading to other parts of the Mid-Atlantic for the next month, I brought a ton of books with me and I’m mailing out orders as soon as they come in. This offer will shit the bed before the new year, so order now to guarantee delivery by the holidays.

Next Week: Even More Recession Recipes

Budget Summer Vacation Ideas

Budget Summer Vacation Ideas
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Personally, my summer’s looking pretty good. A trip to see some old-timey bear-tainment at Clark’s Trading Post and the demolition derby at the Brockton Fair is all I need to have fun, relaxing times. Which is a good thing, since that’s all I can afford.

Don’t forget, the Big Fat Whale book, Fun Stuff for Dum-Dums is now on sale! Buying a copy is the best way to support this comic strip. Another way is to become one of my henchmen, but that requires eating a bucket of poutine and riding the Zipper for an hour to prove your loyalty to me. Also, you may have to mouth-kiss a carny.

Next Week: Father’s Day Gifts

A Solution to the Economic Crisis

We need a new bubble to fool-heartedly invest in. I humbly suggest alt-weekly cartoons. Fungible Funnies! Now gimme your money! There’s equity in my stack of cartoons. I promise!

Even I, a lowly fart-joke merchant, knew the housing bubble was fucked over five years ago. The same folks who did nothing to address it in all that time are now saying we have to act fast? With some bullshit plan slapped together in a week? Fuck that noise.