Educating the Obvious

click for comic

The inspiration for this strip is this recent court ruling. That article features some great quotes from the teacher in question, James Corbett, such as “When you put on your Jesus glasses, you can’t see the truth.”

But unlike Corbett, I’m not actually anti-religion, just anti-know-nothings whose faith crumbles at the mere thought of anything beyond a literal interpretation of their ancient book of choice. And they’re bringing this country down into a stupid-hole we’ll never escape from. To see how far we’ve already fallen, check out this informative graph from Tony Piro.

And the latest Krugman op-ed details the terrifying reality of the Republicans being the anti-facts party, from science, to economics, to pretty much any fact a nerd has saw fit to put on Wikipedia.

Great Moments in Commencement Speeches


click for comic

Next year’s graduating college class was born in the nineties. I’m an old fart.

I’m off for vacation tomorrow, but I’ll try to blog while I’m away. I’m bringing the tablet along in case I get the sudden urge to draw a dick or fart cloud for you people.

Next Week: 26 Cent Book Bin

Texas, Not That Awful

I’ve been busy and missed this update to my Texas Textbooks cartoon and commentary. The conservative district that Ding Dong McElroy represented on the Texas Board of Education voted him out in favor of the more reasonable Republican, Thomas Ratliff by the slimmest of margins.

But the best thing in the article is McElroy’s stance against teaching Chinese Literature in schools:

“[Y]ou really don’t want Chinese books with a bunch of crazy Chinese words in them. Why should you take a child’s time trying to learn a word that they’ll never ever use again?” He conceded some terms, such as “chow mein,” might be useful, the San Antonio Express-News reported.

I’d love to see a comprehensive list of “foreign” words McElroy deems acceptable. It probably includes chop suey, nacho, lasagna, and bukkake.

Texas Textbook Excerpts


click for comic

Due to the economics of textbook publishing, a couple morons on the Texas Board of Education get to determine the contents of textbooks that are used in schools throughout the country. The entire horrifying process is documented in this NY Times Magazine article. It’s similar to how California’s emissions standards set the bar for all cars sold in the US, except Texas is lowering the bar, turning it into a retarded pole on the ground.

There is some hope at the end of the article, which says that one of the leaders of the dumbification movement, Don McLeroy (AKA Don “That Fuckin’ Dum-Dum” McLeroy), is facing a serious challenge from moderate Republican Thomas Ratliff. But who knows. In Texas, isn’t a moderate Republican someone who believes Jesus and Dinosaurs coexisted, but he never rode one?

The election of Scott Brown forces me to issue this disclaimer: Not all Texans are retards, but enough of ’em vote, just like here in good ol’ Massachusetts, the Bay State of Stupid.

While researching this cartoon, I discovered the “official” website for Footprints in the Sand. It’s INSANE. I’m not prone to giving out free ideas, but someone over there should contact Thomas Kinkade about painting some light coming out of some motherfucking Jesus-footprints.

ANNOYING PLUGS FROM A DESPERATE MAN: Please buy the Big Fat Whale book, Fun Stuff for Dum-Dums, and follow me on Twitter and Facebook.

Next Week: The Worst Ads on the Web