Suspicious White Guy Accessories

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Everyone’s talking about black men and hoodies, but what about all the accessories that make people think white guys are up to no good?

Obviously this cartoon is inspired by the Trayvon Martin killing, but racial profiling happens all the time. Even, and I’d argue especially so, with the cops. If you haven’t seen it already, check out this awful story from White Plains, NY.

Sanford, Fla. Neighborhood Watch News & Notes

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As a white guy, I never had to deal with profiling. Except when I wear a hoodie and people assume I’m a hipster rather than just a chilly dude.

Here’s a fun tip if you happen to be armed and live in a “Stand Your Ground” state: If you let the unarmed dude who scares you know you have a gun instead of shooting him right away, he’ll probably stop doing whatever it is scaring you. Unless the thing he’s doing is simply being black. People can’t stop doing that.

History’s Greatest Recalls


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Thanks, Toyota, for letting me revisit a bit I did in 2007 when China was poisoning pet food and putting lead in baby toys.

I don’t have much to say about the actual Toyota recalls except that in addition to the acknowledged flaws, the Prius has major blindspot issues. I drove a rental once, and the fact that its’ blindspots remain year after year without complaint proves that environmentally conscious rich people don’t know how to drive. If you’re driving a normal car on the highway, give those hippies a wide berth, ’cause they can’t see you.

Some ladies (and dudes who only pee sitting down) might be unaware that those of us who are bewanged sometimes get to pee on bumblebees. It is AWESOME.

This is something called a nudge. It gets people to do things without bossy signage that would likely cause spite-pissing. In countries that participate in the dainty sport of soccersball, there’s a more interactive variant.

Next Week: Texas Textbook Excerpts