Theocalypse Now

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We’re in what seems like the millionth month of this culture war bullshit. And that’s all it is. No one under 40 is debating the merits of birth control. The olds are having this debate because they don’t like the idea of relatively young folks doin’ it with (safe, and relatively consequence-free) abandon.  Maybe, and only maybe, a few dum-dums are arguing about abortifacients and abortion, and conflating them with contraception. But I don’t spend my time trying to figure out what’s going on in the minds of idiots.

Sorry there was no BFW last week. I sprained my ankle and had to spend a day figuring out my insurance stuff. I also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see Louis CK and Jim Gaffigan for the first time live, so my week was cut short.

Campaign Comeback Advice for Mitt Romney

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Mitt’s such a tool, even the GOP base recognizes it and is having a severely difficult time accepting him as their party’s nominee. Of course, as a sensible human being, a tool like Romney is WAY more preferable than Gingrich or Santorum, but they’re all competing for the votes of ignorant, hateful assholes, so sensibility doesn’t factor in at all.

Besides his soulless, unrelatable rich-douche persona, the worst thing about the Romney campaign is that they have to run away from Massachusetts and its extremely popular health care reform because it’s essentially the same thing as President Obama’s. As a freelancer, I couldn’t afford health insurance until Romney’s reforms created a public option for low-income Massachusites (No one says ‘Bay Staters,’ and Massholes imply we’re all an SNL sketch.), so I’m a fan. Anyone who’s against it or ObamaCare either works for the health industry or is a raging moron.

On a lighter note, the sweater tube top in this cartoon is part of my lifelong fascination with tube tops as a thing people actually wore/wear. Even as a towheaded toddler in the early eighties, I knew they were wrong. Here’s a cartoon I did for my high school yearbook, followed by the Bert Fershners comedy sketch that inspired it.

An ALF reference! And my handwriting! I was the coolest.

Thank you, mid ’90’s Comedy Central.

I urge everyone who owns a copy of the Brockton High School 1997 Yearbook to hang onto that shit and write letters to editors who help keep me employed, thereby increasing the value of your yearbook when your kids auction it off on eBay after you die.

Contraception Objections

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I can’t believe this contraception nonsense lasted for another week. The GOP is seriously alienating women and dudes who like sex more than babies, so that pretty much covers anyone whose parts haven’t atrophied with age.

And a couple hours before I posted this, Oklahoma marched closer towards becoming first in the nation to recognize zygote-personhood. This is even more ridiculous than embryonic personhood because a zygote is just a fertilized egg. An embryo requires at least that single-celled byproduct of fucking to divide on its own.

Hopefully the news cycle shifts from contraception soon, because I’m getting tired of commenting on this shit. It’s not the fifties, you know.