Truckosaurus 2012

First, for you monster truck pedants, I know Truckosaurus’s given name is Robosaurus, but that is only acceptable if it ate robots instead of shitty cars.

Scott Brown had this dumb-ass commercial where he introduced Massachusetts to his truck. I laughed and laughed, which inspired panel six of last week’s cartoon. While I was laughing, Truck Nutz throughout my state related to the important issue of having a truck and elected a tea-bagger. Naturally, the only person who can defeat Brown in 2012 is someone who has a bigger truck, a machine that eats trucks, or possibly someone who has fucked a truck.

Jen Sorensen has a more serious analysis of what happened.

For a state that’s supposedly ultra-liberal, we sure pick some real weak-ass centrist clunkers to be our Democratic standard-bearers. I’m not talking Kucinich-level cuckoo, but we could certainly use someone like Bernie Sanders.

Don’t get excited, guy in Cambridge with a recumbent bike. I’m not talking about you. You are insufferable.

Vote, My Fellow Massholes

Sure, the weather’s shit, and both candidates ran awful negative campaigns that started during the holidays, which soured all normal folks on this election, but your vote is important. If you don’t vote, only the tea bag nuttos will turn out and get to pick the douche who’s going to represent us for the next three years.

I believe this election wouldn’t be close if Capuano won the primary, but the Democratic establishment is a mighty beast here, so we got Coakley. There are many valid reasons to bitch and moan about her, but she is the only choice if you care about ending wars (or at least not starting any new ones), gay marriage, health care, or think Ayn Rand is a selfish twat, rather than a financial genius.

So vote, and don’t let Kennedy’s Seat get stunk up by a dude who’s gonna be embarrassing us on Fox News for the next three years.