Yet Another Post About Fahrenheit 9/11

Frequent readers of the comic strip or even just the blog will realize that I’m not a big fan of society. At least on the macro level. Individually, I can talk to and get along with random strangers, even the fat ones. It’s just that in large groups, people sicken me.

In this completely warped spirit, I went to see Fahrenheit 9/11 at noon on a Tuesday in a suburb thirteen miles south of Boston. It was this same strategy that allowed me to see The Matrix without having to roll my eyes at all the wannabe philosophy majors.

I assumed I’d have the Tuesday afternoon matinee pretty much to myself, but it was packed. Not just with seniors, but with all kinds of unemployed people. I can’t imagine people would take a day off from work to see a movie just a couple of days before the holiday weekend. Nervous teens, scared of separating their super squad into twos and threes, were hovering on the stairs desperately looking for twelve seats in a row, and sad old ladies had resigned themselves to sitting in that useless front row.

This is purely speculative, but given the interest in this film I personally witnessed, I suspect John Kerry will definitely win Massachusetts in November. The crowd seemed into the movie and even clapped at the end, one of my many pet peeves. Do they clap at the end of Now with Bill Moyers too? Thems moving pictures ain’t actors and don’t care if you clap or not.

Now on to the film itself. It’s blatantly obvious by reading about half of my cartoons or any blog post, but just in case this is your first time here, I believe George W. Bush is the worst President ever. I say ‘believe’ because forty percent of the country still refuses to accept this. But rest assured, ten years from now, Family Ties 2014 will feature a son who worships Dubya, and even sitcom watching mouth breathers will think it’s hilarious.

I agreed with the tone of the film, which I believe to be: “George W. Bush is an asshole who doesn’t give a shit about you so stop voting for him you fucking idiots!” And most of the information provided was old news to me, a sad nerd who reads too many newspapers. But the film was a muddled mess. Bush sucks so much that it’s impossible to cover all the reasons why he blows in two hours and make a cohesive documentary.

The film had basically the same structure as the bumper of an aging hippy’s Volvo. It jumped from point to point (all indisputable facts BTW) but didn’t go into much detail with any of them. I liked a lot of the vignettes, but as a whole it just seemed like a primer for people who haven’t been paying attention, not fine cinema worthy of the Palm d’Or.

I think the film’s box office success is because people know corporate American media has gone way too easy on this asshole. They crave anything that smells like actual investigative journalism. My favorite part of Fahrenheit 9/11 was when it focused on the media’s cheerleading in the run-up to war, but that was about five minutes.

Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone should see this movie, especially people who only get their news from the TV. But to call it the best film of the year isn’t really being honest. It’s more like a 21st century newsreel, or one of those CD compilations called, “NOW That’s What I Call A Shitty Presidency!”