Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy Theories
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Last week another round of “The World Trade Center was blown up by the government! Really! Some guy with tenure said so!” emails made the rounds to those of us unfortunate enough to be on morons’ radar. I know those cartoonists who exclusively do political stuff and have any degree of name recognition have more experience with this, but people who can’t tell the difference between news and conspiracy theories also have a hard time telling the difference between a cartoonist and an investigative reporter.

I draw funny pictures. I don’t follow leads. I barely go outside. Of course there are important stories that go unreported. I’m not stupid. But before you send me your latest “proof” that the jackasses in charge were actually capable of pulling off the greatest conspiracy ever conceived, make sure it can stand up to the mild scrutiny this C+ engineer will apply to it.

Don’t worry, dear bearded hippie who enjoys my cartoons and wrote me a sincere letter, I’m not talking about you. I hope this doesn’t discourage all the other loonies out there, I’d love to hear from you. I’ll even treat your crazy theories with faux sincerity and I might even tell you my next cartoon will cover that very subject. But I will be lying, especially if you managed to hunt me down in person. I’ll say anything to get you to buy my books.

As far as I know, all the conspiracies in this cartoon are fake, but Oliver Stone has already optioned my Buzz Aldrin Supercuts exposé for his next film.