Month: January 2006

SOTU STFU

Since this week’s comic is just a bunch of cheap shots at celebrities I don’t like, I feel slightly obligated to put something political up here on State of the Union day. But I don’t want to.

This may shock some of you, but I do not like George Bush or any of the policies he’ll be announcing tonight. I’ll watch anyway, probably because I hate myself, but mostly to see if the Democrats will lay another wet fart and offer another milquetoast rebuttal. If they don’t use the precious air time they’re given tonight to launch an aggressive and appealing message for the midterms, they’re fucked.

The media’s going to fawn over Schools on the Moon, or whatever ridiculous program Bush offers up, unless the Democrats force the narrative back to Abramoff and illegal wiretapping. And if they’re smart, they’ll also mix in some pandering message of hope and prosperity to round up the dum-dum vote.

The Search for Conventional Wisdom

Conventional Wisdom
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Despite the objections of every sane and freedom loving person (The Democrats are not included, on account of them being pussies*), Alito will be confirmed. The point of this cartoon isn’t that I don’t think it will happen. My problem is with the media citing “conventional wisdom.” Whenever they use that phrase, it’s usually just a way of regurgitating some bullshit opinion that has been repeated to death lower on the media food chain.

In hindsight, I should’ve focussed on the “Bush is a popular war president,” conventional wisdom that still gets tossed around, despite Bush’s meager 41% approval in a Fox News poll. The fact that people in the media can still say that and not laugh out loud is proof that some sort of cognitive dissonance is going on in the minds of journalists. Or maybe their source of conventional wisdom is just different from mine. FYI, I get my conventional wisdom from facts.

*From now on, whenever I use the word “pussy,” I’m using it in its original Nigel Pussington context.

I’m Not Pretentious

Well, I am, but not enough to give myself a made up first name. On the Phoenix website I’m cited as T.K. McFadden. Rest assured, it’s just a typo and fine in the print version.

For vanity’s sake, let’s assume it stands for “Tough Knuckles McFadden.”

Behind the Stinky Curtain

Inspired by Matt’s series of posts detailing his illustration process, I’ve decided to give you all a look at the shame and indignity I endure to bring you a mediocre cartoon each week.

For the curious, after I write the comic, I figure out what I want in each panel. And if it calls for a specific pose that’s hard to find in the public domain, I take out the camera and do it myself. Using the photo, I make a rough outline of each panel and transfer it to bristol board. After I pencil in all the detail and lettering, I ink it, then scan it and color in Photoshop.

Only read the rest of this article if you don’t mind being assaulted with a jarring animated gif I made from the reference photos for this week’s cartoon.
Continue reading Behind the Stinky Curtain

Job Fair

Job Fair
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This comic would probably be more appropriately titled “Bad Idea Clearinghouse.” Most of these shitty premises have been haunting my notebook for months. They’ve greatly reduced my productivity as I desperately tried to turn them into something decent. I decided to lump most of them all into one comic and stick them under some barely unifying theme, just to be done with them.

If this was China, and my bad ideas were girls, I could leave them on the side of a mountain instead of doing a shitty cartoon.

I know some manufacturing engineer out there is just dying to inform me that dildos are made by injection molding, not hand crafted on lathes. He or she would be right.

Next week we search for the elusive source of conventional wisdom.

A Missive from Busyland

Hello my dearies. I am still alive. After nearly missing a deadline this week, mostly due to watching the Pats lose in a stinker, I’m back on track. I’d promise some more political commentary, but I’m having a hard time coming up with enough for the cartoon. There are only so many ways to say the people in charge are clueless assholes and that we are all doomed. Hopefully that’ll change when the ’06 campaigns heat up.

In other news, I’m digitizing my parents’ old home movies. I’m currently sifting through the grainy chaff of first generation VCR technology, back when its victory over Betamax was still uncertain. Once I get to the late eighties, I might find some choice clips for you guys.

The 22nd Century Supreme Court

22nd Century Supreme Court
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Like I said earlier, this cartoon was originally done for Campus Progress. It’s sort of relevant now that the Alito hearings are under way. Not that anyone’s really watching those. I actually want him to get rejected, but can’t even stay awake during the hearings.

Next week I’ll return with a look at some obscure vocations. Hopefully this will be the end of BFW’s winter malaise.

Illness

Howdy pardners. I got sick this weekend and didn’t draw a cartoon. Yes, I draw my cartoons on the weekends because I’m a winner. There will be an update this week, but it’ll just be a repurposed cartoon I did for Campus Progress a while back.

I could’ve slogged through my minor ailment and inked a sub-par comic, but I would’ve resented all of you for it. Lucky for me, Big Fat Whale is managed by a pushover who lets me do whatever I want.

The Forgotten Founding Father

The Forgotten Founding Father
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Warrantless wiretapping of American citizens is illegal. FISA exists to provide secret warrants. A president who claims he’s above the law and doesn’t need to file for these easy to get warrants is an asshole and a criminal. Those are facts.

I’d rather die in fiery dirty bomb explosion than live in a police state. The United States has an arsenal of perfectly legal tools to make the chances of the former happening very slim. Sadly, it’s people’s fear of scary brown men that has caused so many to become simpering tools, willing to give the government enough power to pry into their lives more than advertising companies do. And if the president wants another tool to fight terrorism, he can ask congress to give it to him. They probably would’ve given him anything he asked for since they’re a bunch of obsequious turds.
Continue reading The Forgotten Founding Father