Reunited, Almost

My beloved television programs are very close to coming back and filling my eyeballs with the sights and my earholes with sounds of the world beyond my computer box-o-machine. Until they do, you can whet your appetite by watching “webisodes” (a word so awful, I’m stabbing myself for typing it) of The Office, featuring the accountants Angela, Kevin, and Oscar.

Summer television had its moments. For instance, I learned I could hate a regular ex-junkie as much as an ex-junkie who became President. But this season’s Project Runway is incredibly lame, with the producers’ influence on the outcomes more obvious than ever. Alison and Malan should still be there. Santino was someone everyone loved to hate, but Jeffrey is just an asshole. Fuck that guy and his neck tattoos. I hope he falls off the wagon and injects himself with a syringe filled with superAIDS.

Lost better not pull an X-files and become completely ridiculous. I need answers, and a more detailed map.

And it’s just sinking in that Arrested Development has ceased to be. Fuck everyone who likes The War at Home.

6 thoughts on “Reunited, Almost”

  1. WOW…how about you tell us how you really feel? Not that it maters much but since you brought up the discussion of TV, I’m trying to decide whether I should have HBO turned back on. Soprano’s used to be good up until a few seasons ago and since they refuse to permanently retire their severely unimaginative writers; I am competent that I can find better things to do with my time (I’ll let you use your imagination there) than be contained by the confines of the final half of the season (should be spring 2007) of a script that mostly consists of “I’m sorry Tony”.

  2. I realize that may seem harsh, but trust me, if anyone deserves superAIDS, it’s Jeffrey.

    I gave up on the Sopranos after season 3. Not having HBO and it being way before bittorrents existed helped, but I just stopped caring about all those whiny mobsters.

    I need to crawl out of my cave and rent Deadwood, The Wire, and a bunch of other shows everyone whose opinion I trust says are good.

    I like Lucky Louie, but can understand why others have a hard time giving it a chance. I can’t wait for Rome to come back, but think Curb shouldn’t have been renewed.

    And I forgot to include Battlestar Galactica in this post because it’s been so long since season 2 ended and I completely forgot the show existed.

    Also, I love TV because it is never as depressing as the news.

  3. If there’s one episode that you need to see from the Soprano’s it #64 from Season 5; “Long Term Parking.” It’s the one where Andriana get killed off. There’s a scene where Andriana tells Chrisy that she’s been spying for the FBI. Chrisy lunges across the coffee table at her and puts his hands around her throat; her eyes pop and color changes. Then he releases his grip and she takes a breath to restore her life. A very well done scene. Other than that you really didn’t miss anything.

    Season 1 of Deadwood was excellent but than down hill as usual from there. I missed the last three episodes of season 3 because I still haven’t hooked up the cable in my new place. From what I understand it wasn’t a powerful ending at all – must have the same writers as the Sopranos.

    Could never get into Curve and I got lost with Rome because I missed too many episodes. It’s hard for me to follow a series because I’m usually out enjoying what N. Carolina has to offer or playing softball or v-ball. Netflix fills the sequential gaps. Next in my queue is The Wire and Entourage but I must admit I miss 6 Feet Under.

  4. I wouldn’t cry if Jeffrey got superAIDS or Space Herpes. Fuck him and his tree trunk neck. Though I have to admit he made a good dress last episode, the prick…

    I’m waiting for more Lost and The Office. The Office is the only thing that helps me get over the end of Arrested Development.

  5. Michele – I think I like Rome so much because of all the History Channel I’ve watched. It’s just a matter of keeping track of the two fake guys.

    Sheke – My Jeffrey hatin’ has eased a bit now that some justice has been served and Vincent is gone. How many times did that guy use the phrase “Get me off?” Porn dialogue has more variety.

    Is Space Herpes the one astronauts get, or the one that sends your genitals into outer space? It’s been so long since junior high health.

    The Office really became awesome last season. And there are rumors of cameos by the UK cast. I’m doing a comedy nerd jig at this very moment.

  6. My Jeffrey hating also eased slightly due to relief that Vincent is finally gone and I will no longer have to hear how he cashed in his 401(K) and his illfitting creations turn him on. Also, he actually deserved to win last episode, I would TOTALLY wear that dress (even though he should have been out on the mother’s challenge).

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