God’s Goofballs & Practical Jokes

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I came up with the phrase “God’s Goofballs” last week and instantly fell in love with it. I was confident I’d be able to make something hilarious out of it. Instead, I was only able to make mediocre God’s Goofballs-ade.

The Rapture is never going to happen. I wish it would. We’d finally be rid of a large portion of the world’s self-righteous assholes. Believing the Apocalypse is near is something morons have been doing for thousands of years, even before Christ came along.

The end of the world may very well happen, but its details won’t be anything like that cosplay nerd fantasy that’s the book of Revelation. It will be tragic for everyone, sinners and saints alike, and will most likely have been completely preventable.

6 thoughts on “God’s Goofballs & Practical Jokes”

  1. I don’t know what you are talking about with this being mediocre. I actually made a rare excursion from my cave last night and saw this in the Free Times. I almost shot beer out of my nose.

  2. I liked this one. Especially the time lapse where the guy (Kirk Cameron the first, I presume) just stands there. I’m wishing that Pat Robertson would do the same.

  3. Please. Brian. You must travel to where I live and follow along behind me. In the event of being cornered by Christian fundamentalist, I can then exclaim, “Wait! I have someone with me who knows how to explain exactly why you are wrong! Take it away, Brian!” and watch you go to it.

    Seriously. It’d really help me out. All I ever manage to get out is “But -” before they overwhelm me with out-of-context Bible references and spittle.

    Anyway, keep it up.

  4. Sorry Metta, I’m way too nonconfrontational to be of any use. And if I’m ever surrounded by fundamentalists, I may injure myself from excessive eye-rolling.

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