Old Red Sox

Don’t fuck this up Red Sox. The last month should’ve been a rout, but I’ll take whats I can gets. So who wants to give (or sell at face value) a grumpy cartoonist a ticket to a game?

Since BFW also runs in the Cleveland Free Times, I hope I get the chance to do something with these two cities for the ALCS.

Linguistic Sidebar: I discovered today that it’s impossible to say Jack-O-Lantern without your latent Boston accent popping up. I say this as someone who had his thick Brockton-borne accent laughed out of him at Hopkins.

Patchouli Plumbing

The dummies yelling during Patreaus’ dog n’ pony show inspired this cartoon, with an assist from the goofballs on Mass Ave with the “Honk to Impeach” signs. You’d think after forty years these attention whores would realize no one’s listening. Sure the media should’ve reported the vast protests during the run-up to this war, but anyone who thought they would deserves a condescending pat on the head from me.

Matt’s post about 9-11 conspiracy theories says everything I would have.

Tonight: Cambridge, 7pm. You should check out Mikhaela and Masheka’s slideshow in Central Square. If you’re going, why not join me at The Field before the 7pm show and we can all head over as a herd of drunk nerds. RSVP in the comments so I can save a seat for ya.

BFW Behind the Scenes

Here’s some extra content since I’ve been neglecting the blog for a while now.

Some of you might know I take a lot of reference photos of myself for my cartoons. You can click this creepy animated GIF to see what this week’s cartoon would look like if I left the reference photos in there. I had a real plunger, but had to “imaginate” the bucket.

Next Week: I don’t know yet.

The Magnificent Magoozle

The Magnificent Magoozle

Take equal parts Flinstones, Futurama, and my lifetime of bumbling ineptitude, and you get this ridiculous cartoon where I become the Jackson Pollack of speech bubble placement. Mark my words: “Work it Glurp!” will become the next porny catchphrase among America’s nasty, filthy youth.

Hey Boston, what are you assholes doing next Friday night? You should check out Mikhaela and Masheka’s slideshow in Central Square. If you’re going, why not join me at The Field before the 7pm show and we can all head over as a herd of drunk nerds. RSVP in the comments so I can save a seat for ya.

Next Week: You’re Not Helping!

Yay Ladies!

Way back when, I got some guff from a feminist or two who didn’t quite get a cartoon I did mocking former Harvard President and known misogynist Larry Summers. That blew over and I haven’t thought about it since. Until I did the Manly Men cartoon. I was mostly concerned about its half-assedness, but I was also worried that it would be interpreted as a celebration of date-rapey behavior instead of a rebuke.

Mikhaela said its point came across crystal clear, and she was right. I haven’t received nary a complaint about that cartoon in the weeks since its release. In fact, it’s been my second most viewed cartoon on the intarwebs since Kansas Classrooms. Odds makers take notice, Ms. Reid (Mrs. Wood? Ms. Reid-Wood? What do we call you now, Ms. Newly-Married-Lady-Person?) has picked both of these cartoons as the best of Big Fat Whale.

And thanks to the comments over at Feministing, I now know more folks are reading my cartoons in the Phoenix besides confused sudoku players. Please tell the editors how you feel in addition to your internet friends! My beer money depends on it!

Oh, and hey! You must like cartoons and equality if you read this far. Mikhaela and Masheka will be making a rare Boston (Actually Cambridge, Central Square, to be precise) appearance next week. Friday the 28th, 7pm, Center for New Words. I’ll be there and so should you.

Comedy Nerd Kwanzaa

Some sweet, sweet, person uploaded seasons 1 and 2 of Get a Life onto Myspleen this week. I loved it when I was 11 and 12, and I only got half the jokes back then. It’s even better now that I’m three inches taller and ostensibly more mature.

If I had more time, I’d fill out this post with all of my favorite Chris Elliott moments I could find on YouTube. Instead, here’s the entirety of the epic musical, Zoo Animals on Wheels: Continue reading Comedy Nerd Kwanzaa


No post this week, only transcribed disappointment. I just found out Gogol Bordello is playing here October 11, and the show’s already sold out. Nutbars. I should buy my Comedians of Comedy tickets for the October 25 show now. But I’m going to wait because I’m poor and lazy.

In other news, Greg should’ve titled this post “Waterfire Walk With Me.”

What Congress Did on Its Summer Vacation

It’s been a while since I did a bona fide political cartoon. The reason is because lately the only political opinion I’ve had is “We’re still in Iraq? Seriously? For reals?! Fuck that shit.” And it’s getting really tough to put a comedic spin on that sentiment. If I can’t make them funny, or at least slap some dick jokes on them, how are my lame-ass opinions any different from the chatty, unfunny liberals you run into everyday?

I have many opinions that have yet to make it into the cartoon. That’s because I haven’t found a way to make them funny. For instance, I think everyone who voted for Bush in 2004 should be blasted into space on NASA’s remaining space shuttles. Although they won’t admit to it today, there’s enough of those assholes to give Earth a shiny new ring of dumbassery.

We need to end this quagmire if I’m to return to my bread and butter of mocking fundamentalists, bad science, and the insipid world of pop culture. Until then, it will be bits of randomness interspersed with more and more harping from yours truly.

Next Week: The Magnificent Magoozle

Me Bein’ Stupid

I’m being punished by the God I don’t believe in for my summer of procrastination. You won’t be seeing much of me on this here blog besides the cartoon updates for a while. To ease the pain you will inevitably be going through, here’s a photo Greg took a few weeks ago at my birthday festivities.

Silly antics brought to you by Carvel, Laphroaig (my new favorite Scotch), and Moose, the evil genius weegie.