Journal of Obscure Medical Conditions

Dick and shit jokes, yet somehow I have the nerve to mock “Family Guy.” I’m one elitist douchebag all right.

From the Mailbag:

Regarding this week’s cartoon, Dudley informs me:

RE: Constant Sarcasm Disorder

I seem to remember this disorder from an old Kids in the Hall sketch (I guess that means I have Humour Blindness [we include the extra letter in Australia]).


And my reply:


Drat! As I was writing it, I was so convinced I was ripping of the Mr. Show sketch “sarcastic letter writer” that when I checked my DVD, I didn’t even think I was ripping off Kids in the Hall.

Since you remembered it, you certainly don’t have Humor Blindness. (I leave the superfluous ‘u’ out because I love America, eagles, and freedom fries.) You have what’s known as acute Humor Sensitivity.

Thanks for the heads-up,

PS: I hear you’ve got a great big rock down there.

Unlike Dane Cook, I do my best to avoid using material that I’ve heard somewhere else. I don’t remember the sketch, so it may also be a case of convergent thinking. But I’ve consumed tons of comedy over the years and this could have easily slipped through. Also the fact that I don’t own the Kids’ DVDs might have helped.

Next Week: Kids Say the Most Pragmatic Things: Vol. III

Boo WordPress

Crap like this always happens whenever a new version of WordPress comes out, but it’s especially irksome now that uploading tiny images, like the cartoon thumbnails, are causing a problem for some reason. What’s the point of a fancy AJAX interface if I have to upload a simple graphic via ftp?

I realize this griping sounds like gibberish to most people, but I just want it out there in the hopes that some kind, web elf reads it and leaves a solution in the comments.

I just installed the plugin to disable the flash uploader. That’ll work for now. Maybe they’ll fix whatever’s wrong in 2.5.1.

For All My Fellow Freelancers

That Mitchell and Webb Look – Season 2, Episode 4

Little Britain is for dummies who love the same punchlines over and over again. This show is actually good. Enjoy! Now I gotta go. I saw something mildly arousing.

Oh wait. In other British comedy news, Ricky Gervais is in nearby Lowell shootin’ a movie. But for Christ’s sake, why is Jonah Hill in that one too? I’m tired of seeing that guy and his giant, hairy, neck bubble in all the comedies. Apatow, use more Haverchuck!

Down and Out in Mesopotamia

I’ve only watched one episode of “Rock of Love”. Really. For those who’ve been fortunate enough to miss it, it’s a horrifying train wreck strewn with the carcasses of shamelessness and delusion. Sadly, in the past year, it’s been easier to find nasty skanks vie for the attentions of a hairplugged douchebag than news from Iraq on our teevees.

I’d link to all sorts of polls and shit, but you’re reading my dirty little comic strip. Chances are you’d rather be rickrolled than click on any learnin’ links I put here. But you’ll probably click on the link to the story about how that woman’s ass fused to the toilet seat.

Next Week: Journal of Obscure Medical Conditions

Early Season Baseball Post

I will try my hardest not to litter the comic strip and this website with baseball talk and my increasingly obnoxious Red Sox fandom this year. But sometimes I or my unfortunate Yankee fan pal Craig would like to gloat or vent, so I plan on posting a baseball thread every month or so.

I’m not posting much this time, since I’ll post again in two weeks after I attend a game May 2nd. (I entered a lottery and won the chance to pay $30 for standing room only seats to see the Devil Rays! I’m dumber than a Bear Sterns investor.) It’s still too early to come to any conclusions, but I’ll just say Jon Lester is garbage. Oh! One more thing: Is it racist of me to suggest that Dustin Pedroia shouldn’t have his own brand of salsa?

The Future of Manned Space Experiments

I’m a nerd and I love NASA. I love it so much; I subscribe to their vodcast (I hate that word). But the sad fact is that there hasn’t been much of a reason to put men (in the gender-neutral sense) into orbit since Skylab crashed back to Earth.

There is research to be done, and obviously we need to figure out how to deal with the long-term effects of weightlessness if we’re ever gonna get off this doomed shithole of a planet. But we’ve learned more from Voyager, Viking, Venera, Spirit, Opportunity, Cassini-Huygens, and countless other robots than all of the golf balls swung by dudes on the Moon.

Men in space is cool, but until we find a way to get there cheaply and make interplanetary travel much quicker (Ion drive baby!), we’re just jerking off into the aether. Wake me up when New Horizons gets to Pluto.

UPDATE: It’s weird that the day I posted this, I came across this article about the Aldrin Cycler. Interesting stuff. I hope it gets put to use in my lifetime.

Next Week: Down and Out in Mesopotamia