A Tourist’s Guide to Touristing

A Tourist's Guide to Touristing

click for comic

I sent this out to the papers with a you’re/your fuck-up. That’s almost as embarrassing as getting caught riding a Duck Boat in Boston. The only exception is if you’re on one of the local sports teams and it’s part of some sort of rolling rally.

I don’t really hate tourists this much. Now that college graduations are behind us, much of the Boston area will clear out and I can walk around without getting bogged down by students. Tourists stick to the same old spots that I rarely have a reason to visit.

“Cheers” has been off the air for over 15 years, but people still make a point of visiting where they shot the exteriors. I don’t begrudge the Bull & Finch for finally relenting and changing the name. I would gladly take dumb tourist cash too. But some dummies just visit the Fake Cheers in Faneuil Hall, order a Sam Adams and a bowl of chowder, then hop back on the plane back home. That just ain’t right.

Have an awesome Memorial Day weekend. Remember, no veteran or soldier ever did anything wrong. Ever. They are angels who walk the Earth. Even Lynndie England.

Next Week: Hard Times for the Rich

3 thoughts on “A Tourist’s Guide to Touristing”

  1. The dumb questions panel is priceless. I live downtown Seattle, and people actually ask me where a Starbuck’s is. Seriously, to any person who finds themselves anywhere in Seattle and wants to find a Starbucks:

    1) pick a direction
    2) Walk up to 2 blocks

    Theoretically this works with the continuum of all possible directions if you can walk through buildings.

  2. As a resident of a certain European country with liberal drug laws, during the summer I’m sometimes accosted by groups of 18-year-old tourists asking where they can “like, buy some weed.” The answer is pretty much the same as for Starbucks in Seattle. On the other hand, if they were looking for a Starbucks they’d be shit out of luck.

  3. Raznor – If one had the ability to walk through buildings, using it only to get to a Starbucks slightly quicker than normal people would be so sad.

    river – replace “weed” with “crack” and you’d be in Baltimore.

Comments are closed.