Kennedy’s Seat

Kennedy's Seat
click for comic

Now that Stephen Lynch has dropped his sorry ass out of the race for Kennedy’s seat, I don’t really have much of an opinion on who should get it. I’m leaning towards my current rep, Mike Capuano, but Martha Coakley isn’t that bad, despite her recent support of Boss Menino.

I’m all for Massachusetts changing the law they enacted to keep Mitt and his magic underpants from sending a Republican to the Senate. The fact that we only have one Senator (which has been the case for almost a year), while states like Wyoming and the Dakotas have two, is a ridiculous lack of representation. The makeup of the Senate is inherently disproportionate to the citizenry, and we shouldn’t allow it to be even worse.

I think Dukakis would be an excellent interim Senator. He is an inspiration to myself and every other short Bay Stater with crazy eyebrows. I will also accept the appointment of Jon Lovitz playing Dukakis.

Here’s a joke I didn’t include in this comic because I thought it was too mean and I ran out of room anyway: Kennedy’s Vacant Seat is not without scandal. In the early nineties, he left the scene of an accident which left Chairy from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse dead.

Here’s a funny bit in The Onion about Kennedy’s seat.

Next Week: Failed Fall Pilots

Leno-Hatin’ Liveblog


Tune in to this space, or follow me on Twitter at 10pm tonight as I bitch and moan throughout Jay Leno’s debut in his brand-new timeslot. Will I survive? Will comedy? Let’s find out!

UPDATE: I’m glad that’s over. I was surprised how similar it was to his Tonight Show. The whole thing seemed even lazier and half-assed than usual, but they barely changed anything. Same bits. Same sets. Same awful non-comedy.

I’m not surprised. But it was nice to reaffirm that I don’t hate the guy for no good reason.

Now if only I could figure out a way to get Conan to lay off the “Celebrity Surveys.”

11:00 And so concludes “Brian yells at the TV and clutters up your feed for an hour.” The Daily Show is back! I’ll be quiet until morning.

10:59 At least Jay closed strong with an Engrish joke about poon.

10:58 He’s doing this at a desk. I was told there would be no desks.


10:48 I’m too old and can’t hear any of this music. Uh-huh. Yeaaah. What? That’s right!

10:45 I am here to mock Jay Leno, but now I want to solve Kanye’s skull puzzle!

10:43 The Office promo has given me a reason to LIVE!

10:39 Who needs Jon Stewart when Jay Leno is making pastry puns to Obama?

10:33 My Leno-hating has sent one follower packing. No time for me when there are wacky headlines to read!

10:30 HALFWAY DONE! (Although frighteningly enough, the front of the show will be better than the back.)

10:28 The Secret AND Leno? Now I have to rank the reasons why I hate Oprah?

10:26 Seinfeld is right. Robin Williams would’ve been a better fit.

10:23 Heroes: Lost for the Leno set.

10:20 Broad Musical Improv! Prop comedy for your earballs!

10:15 Was Wayne Brady too expensive for this bit?

10:14 I’d like to think Jeffrey Tambor’s disapproving look in The Hangover clip knew what a shitpile segment he was being included in.

10:13 Now back to the Mediocrity-dome.

10:12 Commercial Break: Patriots!

10:09 If I hate Kevin Eubanks, does that make me racist?

10:05 TEXTING! AHAHAHA! Oh, Leno! So topical.

10:03 No fucking Conan apology?! You chin-faced turd.

10:02 This shit looks just like the old Tonight Show.

Bread Town

Bread Town
click for comic

This was inspired in part by Domino’s Bread Bowl Pastas, one of the more recent disgusting developments in food-science gone horribly wrong. I originally wanted to link right to Domino’s menu, but somehow added one of those monstrosities to a shopping cart. Fearing one could be delivered to my home at any moment, I deleted the cookies, closed the browser, and vowed to never return to their slice (Get it? Of course you do, College.) of the web.

The only thing you should eat out of a bread bowl is a nice soup, preferably a chowder or a bisque. Anything else is gross, or as Breadgiver once decreed “Eater shall not eat bread bowls, unless it is to sop up the juices.”

NEVER FORGET: 8 years ago, buying shit was our patriotic duty. After you’re done reliving that awful day, take a moment to buy Fun Stuff for Dum-Dums. For America.

Next Week: Kennedy’s Seat

When in Fenway…

Tuesday night, Phill Jupitus took me along on his annual Fenway Hajj. I can’t thank him enough for letting me park my broke-ass in the front row of the Green Monster with him. It’s a rarity for me to even see the games in HD. (I usually tune into the radio broadcasts on a clock radio.)

I was squarely in Dan Tobin’s camp when it comes to the 8th Inning Anthem, but there is no denying what I have done:

You can see the look of terror as I realize I’m about to sing The Song That Makes No Fucking Sense at a Baseball Game. But then I just went with it, and it was fun.

Unless I find myself spontaneously singing Living on a Prayer at some dive in Revere, I don’t think I’m at risk of becoming a Pink Hat.

If you’re not familiar with Phill’s work, I highly recommend the Perfect Ten podcast. And if you’re into that sport fer’ners enjoy so much, there’s this. Listing all of his other awesome projects would require far more computing power than I have access to.

More Dap, Though No One Asked

Thanks to everyone who braved the remnants of Danny and came out to Saturday’s slideshow. It was a lot of fun, and I hope it was for you too. (Thanks for the beans Dan!)

One of the slides featured my first comic strip, DAP, which I drew when I was 10-years-old. It was a blatant ripoff of Garfield. I scanned two comics, but only used the first one, since it was in color. Here’s the other one that’s sitting on my hard drive; A very meta (for a 10-year-old) Dap cartoon:


In the later part of the notebook, Dap gets Poochy-fied, then I try drawing Beavis and Butthead for no good reason.