A Public Service Announcement

Are you also named Brian McFadden, or know someone who is?

If so, you might want to make sure you’re using the right email address. I hopped on the Gmail train early, and therefore don’t have any numbers or wacky shit in my address. I get dozens of emails for all these other Brian McFaddens (including this douche) every month. I ignore them, but felt guilty about it after mentioning it on Twitter this morning. (Thanks, Blake!)

Obviously, I’m not a fan of the religiousy parts of Xmas, but in the winter-solstice spirit, I feel like these two shouldn’t go ignored.

The first is presumably for some Brian McFadden who can either play the piano or lead singers by some other means. Mind control?

Dear Brian,
I learned today we have no piano player for the 4:15 Mass in the school hall on Christmas Eve.
Would you be interested in leading the singing?  The parish will pay $50 – the amount they would play the piano player.

If you are interested, please let me know.  I have another possibility so, please do not feel pressured.

Thank you so much,

Suzanne J****

I wouldn’t want a case of mistaken identity to cheat this song-and-dancin’ Brian McFadden out of the $50 he has coming to him. And in Brian McFadden solidarity, fuck that other possibility!

The second one is the latest from the man who’s been sending me emails for months under the impression that I am his son.

Brian
Santa detail this weekend, sign up at the firehouse.

This is kinda bossy. Seriously, not even a “please,” fake dad? But they might need a Santa for Toys for Tots or some other charity, and his real son might be a dick who’s worthy of such curtness. I don’t know.

Finally, to all those Brian McFaddens who deliberately put my email on mailing lists and shit, screw you guys. You’re why I don’t bother replying to the real fuck-ups.

5 thoughts on “A Public Service Announcement”

  1. Yep, I had the same problem with my Yahoo account. For example, I was asked to talk about my time in Iraq, but it turned out to be a different guy.

    I finally tracked him down. He was a Major in Kuwait (IIRC).

    Sowhat I finally ended up doing was to just open email addresses with user names instead of my real name and (not because of the above) changing my name to one nobody else has and closing that above account.

  2. I’ve had the same problem. I’ve gotten emails about real estate (including some sort of property lease!), car rentals, emails from someone’s boss at work, etc. I used to reply to the person and tell them they had the wrong person, but it’s gotten so regular that now I just hit delete. If the guy can’t figure out that he’s giving out the wrong email, even for stuff that’s presumably important, then he deserves it.

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