Back to Work

I’m back in Somerville and catching up on all the stuff I couldn’t do while on the road, such as taking relaxing dumps in familiar environments.

Now that it is behind me, I can reveal the purpose of my trip: I was on an official fact-finding mission to the Mid-Atlantic states.

FACTS I FOUND:

  1. The Mutter Museum is fascinating.
  2. Scrapple is delicious.
  3. Pennsylvania’s beer laws are crazy-pants-retarded.
  4. Steve Buscemi gives an excellent audio tour at Eastern State Penitentiary.
  5. Johns Hopkins and its environs got way too fancy.

These facts have been filed with the appropriate authorities.

Charm City

The Pennsylvania portion of my psuedo-vacation has come to a close, and I’m now in Baltimore. I spent several years here learning things I haven’t thought about since. I’m going to my favorite Fells Point bar tonight, even though the streets are not as safe since Omar Little was robbed.

I should be back in Somerville on Thursday.

UPDATE: Superfresh changed their logo. I do not approve.

A Tourist’s Guide to Touristing

A Tourist's Guide to Touristing

click for comic

I sent this out to the papers with a you’re/your fuck-up. That’s almost as embarrassing as getting caught riding a Duck Boat in Boston. The only exception is if you’re on one of the local sports teams and it’s part of some sort of rolling rally.

I don’t really hate tourists this much. Now that college graduations are behind us, much of the Boston area will clear out and I can walk around without getting bogged down by students. Tourists stick to the same old spots that I rarely have a reason to visit.

“Cheers” has been off the air for over 15 years, but people still make a point of visiting where they shot the exteriors. I don’t begrudge the Bull & Finch for finally relenting and changing the name. I would gladly take dumb tourist cash too. But some dummies just visit the Fake Cheers in Faneuil Hall, order a Sam Adams and a bowl of chowder, then hop back on the plane back home. That just ain’t right.

Have an awesome Memorial Day weekend. Remember, no veteran or soldier ever did anything wrong. Ever. They are angels who walk the Earth. Even Lynndie England.

Next Week: Hard Times for the Rich