The Endangered Moderate Republican

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Olympia Snowe called it quits last week, citing the insane partisanship that’s crippled our government for, oh, let’s say forever. She and most in the commentary class have claimed that it’s due to equal amounts of stubbornness on both sides of the aisle. They are fucking wrong, or lying.

The GOP has always tried to court their dumb base by dangling a few racist, sexist, homophobic and xenophobic carrots while they quietly worked to enact their corporatist agenda. Now the dum-dums are fully in charge, dragging the party so far to the right that we’re ARGUING ABOUT CONTRACEPTION IN TWENTY-FUCKING-TWELVE!

The Democrats have been centrists for my entire life. Spooked by 1968 and Jimmy Carter’s one-term presidency, the party can’t even be seen with an actual self-identified liberal or progressive, let alone let them influence their agenda. Clinton was a centrist Democrat, and if you ignore his lofty speeches, and look only at what he’s accomplished, Obama governs like a moderate Republican.

Or at least what once was considered a moderate Republican before the Know-Nothing Renaissance. The shifting of the GOP towards the far right has caused the entire national dialogue to shift along with it. It’s a game of tug-o-war, and while the GOP and the Tea Party are pulling in the same direction, the Democrats won’t let the far left help. So the end result is weak-ass Democrats just trying to maintain the status quo as Republicans tug us back into the 19th century.

Happy Climate Change Denial Season!

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Here in New England, the hinterland beyond New York most people forget about until some shitty movie about Southie comes out, it usually gets cold with a few flurries around the end of October, beginning of November. But last week’s freak October snowstorm that hit most of the northeast meant an early start to climate change denial season throughout the nation.

I was reluctant to do a cartoon that made so many parallels to the holiday season; I’m a post-Thanksgiving traditionalist. But Starbucks already changed their cups, and TV ads are already filled with elves and shit so I figured it’s fair game.

While reading up on climate change denial, I came across this funny song from Sydney band, Men with Day Jobs:

I also saw this great graph that illustrates how the deniers perceive the incontrovertible climate change data.

New New England

New New England

Aw, jeez Maine. I thought you were cool. Then you went and turned Portland into Maine’s Austin. Was your vote a result of Jumping Frenchmen of Maine Syndrome and the sudden stimuli of out-of-state funded political ads?

Rhode Island is on notice too. Gay marriage still isn’t allowed there.

Connecticut has gay marriage, but it also has Lieberman, not to mention half the state roots for the motherfuckin’ Yankees. (Connecticut Mets fans: We cool.) So I can’t in good conscience grant it admission into New New England.

Bigfoot Exists!

I went camping in Coleman State Park way up in northern New Hampshire last weekend. I highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys camping far away from pampered campers and their giganto RVs.

There is wildlife all over the park, especially loons and moose. But the big surprise was capturing photographic evidence that at least one Bigfoot lives in New Hampshire’s Great North Woods:


At approximately 5’3″ and with a footprint around a men’s 7.5 US, this creature isn’t anywhere near “big,” but it is very hairy, has a foul odor, and avoids contact with most humans.

Godlessness is on the Rise. Hallelujah!

Religious affiliation in Massachusetts dropped sharply over the past 20 years. Particularly striking is the shrinking Catholic and growing nonreligious populations.

Seems like my fellow potato-eaters are finally wising up:

Silk said the study found that Irish-Americans, along with people of Jewish ancestry and Asian-Americans, are disproportionately represented among those who report no religious affiliation.

The study also found that America as a whole is becoming less Christian, and that Vermont is the least religious, with 34% of its residents not at all concerned with magic and ghosts. Vermont keeps getting cooler and cooler. They make bricks of awesome cheese, great beer that you can drink in their state campgrounds, Howard Dean, and they’re number one when it comes to reason.

I’d move there if it wasn’t so goddamn cold 7 months out of the year.